My Ex Stares At Me but Ignores Me — My Ex Ignores Me But Stares At Me
You may not realize it, but your ex still madly likes you, and in fact, they are at this very moment, still in love with you! But what makes me say that? Well you see, it’s not me saying it, it’s your ex! Read on to find out the 6 tell-all signs that your ex is still not over you….
o 6. They stare at you as if you were the moon. Your ex can’t take his/her eyes off of you, and they always stare at you in awe and wonder, which is an obvious sign that they are still emotionally fascinated by you. There is nothing more obvious than this, especially if they brighten up and smile every time they hear you or see you.
o 5. They find excuses to talk to you. You notice them calling for no reason, or maybe with lame excuses. It just means that he/she wants to hear your voice and wants to be with you still. You may even notice your ex showing up at places you frequent, and although that is like stalking, it quite obviously is your ex’s obvious attempt at trying to meet you and be with you.
o 4. They haven’t moved on still. No new dates, no new love…nothing in their love life has really changed since you, which is a HUGE indicator that they are still not over you, if they still haven’t moved on relationship wise.
o 3. He/she is really nosy still. Your ex always asks about things which are seemingly none of their business. This is a sign that they like you and are interested in you still.
o 2. They get jealous for no reason. Your ex may have had a dream of you with someone else, and immediately start asking if you are dating again, or want to know if you are. It comes from nowhere, but trust me, it means your ex still likes you and thinks about you if they are getting jealous for no reason.
o 1. He/she tries really hard to impress you. They tell you about the new TV they just bought, or the promotion they just received. He/she tells you about other things they have just accomplished, and they are not telling this to boast to you or make you feel envious, but rather they are trying to impress you and give you a reason to want to come back.
If you would like to learn more about the psychology behind breaking up, and if you feel that you need a step-by-step plan for winning your ex back, then head to Ultimate System to Get Your Ex Back Fast
My ex stares at me but ignores me: My ex ignores me but stares at me.
You know what an illusion is, don’t you? One dictionary definition states that an illusion is something that “is perceived in a way different from the way it is in reality.” If you try to work with an illusion as if it were reality you won’t get real results. Let me give you an example.
Some children go through a stage where they have an imaginary friend. They talk to their imaginary friend and set a pretend place for their friend at a pretend tea party. How many of you know that relationship is doomed to fail because it is not a real relationship?
It is not as challenging or messy to have an imaginary friend as it is to have a real friend. An imaginary friend won’t argue or let you down. They won’t get mad at you and stalk out of the room. But they also can’t give you real love and companionship.
Reality or Illusion? Each is a Choice
I once heard someone say something very wise. They said, “You cannot be disillusioned unless you have first had an illusion.”
How true that statement is. If we have embraced an imaginary lover, we will always be sadly disillusioned when the real person emerges. No real person can live up the the unrealistic illusion of an imaginary lover. It is messy and it is sometimes painful to face all that is real about a flesh and blood loved one but, in the end, we have the opportunity of having a real relationship and real love. That is what mature people do.
As you explore the reasons why your ex left and look for ways to repair that relationship and get them back, consider that you may have been brainwashed into expecting an illusion. Is it possible you have accepted the TV and movie illusions about how your lover should look and behave? Have you accepted an illusion and are therefore, fated to be disillusioned like you might be now?
No real person is like the manufactured personalities portrayed on TV and in the movies. No real person has perfect skin, no sag, and cast iron abs. Okay, a few people do but they are probably superficial and looking for their perfect match — not you or me. Have you noticed how the role models on TV — other than on Seinfeld — don’t have smelly feet and dandruff? Have you also noticed that the actors that portray the perfect people on TV often have lives that are like multiple train wrecks? They can’t even live those lives with a written script and practice. No, we will never have successful relationship unless we embrace reality and accept a real partner with all of the complexities and contradictions that make us human. One very interesting aspect of the complex nature that makes us human is that we do things for multiple reasons.
What if your lover has moved on? Here’s how to get them back.
Multiple Motivations — Part of Being Human
The same kind of simplistic approach to a loved one that may cause us to hold to an illusion can also cause us to make a serious error in how we interpret our loved one’s actions.
People are very complex. They do things and say things from multiple motivations. And, some of these motivations contradict others. We are living an illusion if we are looking for that one pure explanation of why our loved one did something. Only imaginary people are that one-dimensional and pure.
As a simple exercise, imagine your loved one made a dinner reservation for the two of you at a nice place and bought tickets to a new show that just hit town. It is not hard to imagine that they did that because they love you and they want you to enjoy these things. However, they probably also did it because they want to eat out and see the movie. That’s okay, isn’t it? One reason was for you; they other was for them. Perhaps a third motivation was to do these things together with you so you could share the experiences and look back to this special night in years to come. That’s okay. What if we add a third motivation that they are frustrated with a project they are working on and want to get away from their work for a long night on the town? That’s also fine, isn’t it? How about if we add a fourth motivation that they know their best friend is going to need a babysitter for the evening and they wanted an excuse to get out of that? It is possible to add several more motivating factors for preparing this one special night out on the town. That is what real people are like.
Now, using the example above, you could choose from among several interpretations. You could choose the one motivation that your loved one did all of this for the single motivation of their pure and unadulterated love for you. That is a choice that is unrealistic and is the kind of illusion that can cause you to be disillusioned. You would be living in kind of a dream world that idealizes your loved one and the relationship. It is much more likely that he or she has other motivations, even if the primary one is their love for you.
Or, you could isolate the motivation of their wanting to escape work or a babysitting obligation and ignore all of the other motivations. That would also be immature and unrealistic. You have to accept them all because they are altogether what makes your loved one human and real. Do you see how that works? It would be unfair to choose one motivation drive your loved one away because of that one thing. Surely you don’t think you are that pure.
In my work, I love to give people advice that helps them succeed, especially in the area of family relationships. But I acknowledge another motivation that helping people makes me feel good. Does the fact that counseling makes me feel good negate the more altruistic motivation of helping people? I hope not.
It gets complicated because real people are complicated. Only illusionary lovers are so pure that every thing they do is because they are consumed only with never ending love for us.
Have You Been Guilty of Rejecting Your Loved One
This leads us to something you can consider as you think about why your ex left and how you can get them back.
Ask yourself if it is possible that you held them to an unrealistic standard, that you compared them to an illusion of what a lover and friend should be. Is it possible that you expected more from them than is humanly possible. Did you expect a single, unrealistic motivation for each action or word and then rejected them when it seemed their love was not “pure?”
Only a real lover can bring satisfaction and contentment. You do want real love, don’t you? That only happens between real people who have learned to appreciate what is good, live with what is mediocre, and often overlook what is deficient in their loved one.
I like the way the Bible addresses this when it states that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Note that the next statement concerning love is that “Love never fails.”
Surely that’s the kind of love we all want: love that is rooted in reality with all of the golden qualities listed above — and never fails.
In order to deeply understand what went wrong, you may need some help. You may need new ways of looking at relationships and how to repair them. You could benefit from reading how others have found the courage to learn new ways of relating and behaving — the kind that get your ex back.
Do You Truly Wish You Can Get Back Together with Your Ex?
Relationship is a fragile bond that when it’s broken, the process of mending can be much more difficult than creating it in the first place. Sometimes it’s an extremely difficult task to sort out all the problems and get back together with your ex. No matter how many times you come up with different reasons and approaches, your ex does not seem to change the decision to leave you. If you’d like to get your hands on a step-by-step method for changing your ex’s decision about the breakup, click here!
Let me show you exactly what to do to salvage your relationship and rekindle the lost love one more time…even if you’re the only one trying…and even if the situation seems hopeless. Head over now to Get Your Ex Back Secrets
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