Your are the Average: Transparency in Friendships

Rob Hill Sr.:

This Instagram clip inspired my post — as the subject has been on my heart for a few months now.

Relationships, specifically friendships are paramount to survival in this world. Knowing your inner circle, trusting those around you and knowing who they are helps you see certain qualities in yourself. As we age and experience life, some friends stick around while others move along. This is okay. That is the way it’s supposed to be but there comes a time when we must really take a seat and evaluate the type of relationships we have in our lives.

Currently, I’m experiencing a transition: a recent job loss and too much time at home to think. When we’re in a vulnerable and uncomfortable places mentally, we tend to view things based on our emotions. However, I’m enlightened enough to know when I’m being unrealistic and when shit just ain’t right.

In the last eight weeks, a few things became clear regarding negative habits, unproductive relationships, boundaries and goals. For the most part, an unwavering light has been shed on my personal relationships and why I’ve attracted certain people…and called them friends.

Today, there was an article that stuck out to me regarding categories and classifications of friendships. Without going into detail, after reading this, my intuitive thoughts and mind fog became clear. Everything I already knew was validated: I have categorized certain relationships inappropriately. The real kicker is that I also saw how another person would label me in their lives as well — which was disappointing.

As functional adults and morally responsible beings of our happiness, it’s important to know where you stand in the lives of others and where they stand in yours. Once the dust clears, the one you thought should be standing at the finish line may not be there. In fact, you may complete your race alone with a different cast of supporting participants on the sidelines — people you’ve ignored or, in some cases, new players that’ve ran with you all the way to the end.

As an Empath and sensitive soul, I take my relationships VERY seriously. In this trying time in life, I’ve found myself alone and the people I considered to be “best/true friends” are nowhere to be found. When they do come around, it’s usually via text. Maybe I’m being “too sensitive” but I know if one of my friends were experiencing any sort of difficulty, I’d make sure to spend time with them once in a while, comfort and reassure them that things will be okay — but that’s me. Everyone isn’t going to behave in the manner we expect and it’s important to accept and love them where they are. However, it’s just as important to let them know how you feel, set the tone and create boundaries in relationships. They may not have to be completely dismissed but if something isn’t working for you — after you’ve been transparent, the other person needs to be re-categorized. And that’s okay.

All loss isn’t permanent. All hope isn’t lost and all that glitters isn’t gold. Trust your instincts and the process. It won’t let you down.

Courtesy of Flickr - Property of Sayid Budi.