Exercise, Fear and other aspects of Public Speaking

Eddie Melendez
Nov 7 · 4 min read

Do you or someone you know detest public speaking? According to the National Institute of Mental Health Agoraphobia, better known as Social Phobia, is experienced by 0.9% of adults ages 18 or over in the United States. A simple Google search revealed to me that this social phobia is among the top ten mental illnesses we experience. (according to verywellmind.com & worldatlas.com) Statistics aside, I’m compelled to share my own experiences of fear, skill and even my own technics; after all, isn’t public speaking simpler if not even easier than everyday conversation?

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of speaking publicly is How big of a crowd? Will I have to read from a paper or solely off memory? What will I speak about? How about if I forget something? Will people be able to tell I am nervous? This and so many countless questions introduce themselves as thoughts that quickly transform into emotions, followed by an overwhelming feeling of doubt, potentially leading to some form of anxiety. Although natural, all these things begin to produce a bad formula in the number one reason you are afraid of public speaking, YOU!

I previously mentioned that public speaking may be easier than everyday conversation, in theory, that’s true. If you think about it, in many public speaking situations you have the luxury to design, think about, write and even rehearse what you are going to say. It reminds me of all the times I’ve had a casual, in-person conversation but walked away thinking “I wish I would have said ____ instead.”

Our everyday conversational lives look nothing like those who perform or speak publicly, but why is that? Are they better? Do they have something we don’t? While I can admit, that some have a natural skill or gift in the areas of speaking, charisma, and articulation, I believe a lot of it boils down to exercise. Watching those amazing speakers on stage during a Ted Talk can be intimidating when it’s our turn and we wish to perform just as well, if not better.

I enjoy observing interactions and dissecting why we feel how we do, there is however one constant I notice in people, even those who grace the public stages of life, nervousness is normal. Throughout my life, I have been allowed the opportunity to speak publicly at various events, some that stood out most to me is presenting at Gala’s hosted at The Lincoln Center for Performing Arts, presenting to developers and other fellows at Google headquarters in NYC, being awarded for public speaking by The Moth podcast and even currently when I am instructing other adults about technology and software.

How am I able to do this? Am I one of those exceptional speakers? Do I believe I am great at public speaking? I certainly don’t think I am the worse, I do however believe in exercising this skill. You might be surprised to know that soft skills are much like muscles of the body, in order to develop and strengthen them they must be utilized and exercised. Exercising and/or rehearsing this skill is less about the material but more about exercising your confidence.

Clearly, I have had my share of events where the public eye was on me and I will not say I was not afraid or nervous. I can honestly admit the opposite, I was ALWAYS nervous and afraid. While practice is the basic key to getting this formula just right, it roots down to comfortability in yourself. When I presented at Google there were countless rehearsals and also a running joke from my peers where they mentioned that my speech was different every single time I rehearsed it. While everyone was attempting to memorize their speeches word for word, all I was concerned with was ensuring I was comfortable and knowledgable of the content and that I could deliver it in a manner that felt naturally comfortable to me.

As I rehearsed and received critiques about my speech during these rehearsals, rarely did I receive negative feedback about the speech itself. That’s when I began to realize that comfort and delivery play a bigger role in my comfort level. Unless you’re born into that sort of lifestyle, I don’t believe public speaking will feel natural for many of us, but this doesn’t mean it has to feel dreadful. With anything in life, things can make us afraid or make us feel overwhelmed, but when we allow those emotions to become actions that deter or hinder us, it is only ourselves that hold us back.

I like to believe that the worst-case scenario’s truly only live in our minds. The reality is that when you’re in that spotlight 9 times out of ten the audience will usually clap or they will not have any negative commentary about your performance. While some settings, like those of teachers, entertainers or politicians, might result in a more involved response from the audience, those who just wish to exercise this skill or need to make a speech at a formal event for work, school and otherwise can find comfort in yourselves and your ability to overcome this fear.

In closing, although I leave you with this message, perhaps its a message this is equally for myself as it is for you, far too often do we allow our fears to prevent us from growing or exploring our potential.

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