Why I Stopped Helping People and You Should Too
CamMi Pham

I learned the hard way. I was always told to be a people pleaser, especially from people at church. Nothing could have been more wrong for me. My mom was always pushing me to do things for the same people only because she thought that they would like me. Nothing could be further from the truth. People took advantage of me and I never got anything in return. Most of these people would be the people who don’t deserve my help; they never gave me anything in return, they were always busy when I would ask them for something, they never had any regard for my feelings, and they made me feel guilty for putting my needs first. And they never respected my time. Anytime I would say that I don’t have time, they would say “we all have time” or what do have to do that is more important?” or “make the time!” Respect me FIRST and MAYBE I will make time (if you an the favor are worth it).

In the back of my mind I always knew that I needed to take care of myself first. My mom would even tell me that, but like a hypocrite, she always wanted me to put the same people first every time. My rule is if I can’t take care of my needs first, then I won’t be any good to anyone else. I have come across people, particularly in church, who feel that it is okay to wing it when doing something. They would rather take up someone’s valuable time with something that another person could better. In the end, you will find out who your true friends are.

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