Easy, breezy, beautiful

When you search the definition of “grounded”, Merriam-Webster will give you “well balanced and sensible”. Grounded. This is the demeanor in which I imagined pursuing my dreams and career goals as a recent college graduate. Grounded with others. Grounded with God. Grounded with myself. Like many others going through similar transitional phases, I am trying to navigate this young adult life to the best of my knowledge and ability. I am trying to be confident in my education, my degree, and past experiences, hoping that I am putting my best foot forward, not showing any weakness in the process.

But let’s be real. This is a hard transition for some, if not all. Post-grad life is not the fabulous scene you imagine it to be. It took me a good 3 months to be able to joke around with my coworkers. I’m relearning what it’s like to move back home with my parents. And even with a wonderful support system of family and friends that are scattered across the globe, I’ve had countless moments of just feeling so alone. Even though I’ve found time to stay connected with my friends on both the east and west coast (thank you Google Hangout, KakaoTalk, and Facebook) and catch up with each other’s lives, the lack of physical presence — as well as technical difficulties — really made the experience feel like almost finishing a puzzle but missing a piece.

No doubt is it important to maintain relationships that are important to you. Friendships are a gift that should be valued and do take time, energy, and love to maintain. But I’ve also learned that with my next step in life, I couldn’t just keep dipping my toes in this new found pond but having my head turned around wanting to go back to the prior. Where I am for now is where I must be present. I need to share my presence, my attention, and my love to those physically around me because this is where I am.

It’s definitely tough to get to know new people, but I am learning once again how to invest in new relationships. I am taking that step of faith and actively searching for a church community in which I can call Family. I’ll go study at a cafe with new friends. I’ll accept the invitation to have Sunday dinners with my friend’s family even if she’s studying out-of-state currently. I’ve picked up a side tutoring job for a kid in my neighborhood (Oh my goodness, I forgot how impatient kids can be and how much they love to talk). And pretty soon I’ll be volunteering at a clinic for the homeless, which is something that personally touches my heart.

And thankfully, I have Medium to document where I am now. The last few weeks have been hard as I have written numerous different drafts for different ideas and topics I wanted to post. But after writing a couple paragraphs or even finishing an entry, I would look back and cringe at my writing. I felt frustrated that I wasn’t effortlessly moving along.

But in a funny, strange, and coincidental way, I made the connection between my writer’s block and my lifer’s block (if you could call it that). It’s okay to be stuck. It’s natural and it happens to the best of us. Life sometimes does its own thing. I like to believe that it’s God guiding me and preparing my heart, mind, and soul for what is to come.

So to all you post-grad people, I just want to say you aren’t alone. Those struggles you face now, the responsibilities and expectations that you’ve managed to place on yourself that feel crippling, the anxiety you get when you think about paying off your student loans, or the insecurity you feel about yourself as a person in this big world, I am completely there with you. You will overcome, you will gain discipline, you will gain character, and you can develop self-respect (Joan Didion’s essay on self-respect is also a recommended read for all). It’s all a matter of time.

You will make mistakes, you will forget names, you will say yes too many times, and sometimes you might just be deceiving yourself. But hopefully you’ll learn to change what you’re doing, to make direct eye contact when introducing yourself, to decline a night out so that you can finally clean your room, and to accept yourself with courage and honesty without any excuses.

And to those still with the comforts of being in school, pleaaaase go to class. Thank your professors, hug your friends often, take time to be alone in a quiet place on campus. Before you know it, all that is in front of you will be replaced by new faces in a new place doing new things. So enjoy the present. It’s a gift. It is meant to be enjoyed.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:…a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;” Ecclesiastes 3: 1,5–7 (ESV)