Six Months Down and Six to Go
I have made it to the halfway mark here in Korea. Nothing new has happened, but here we are.
The sixth month has gotten quite tiring. I’ve started to get feelings of wanting to quit. I definitely don’t think I can keep up with teaching for the long term. Some days the kids make me so angry and I really can’t enjoy it. I don’t have the classroom management skills for this job. Anyhow, let’s try to stay positive though.
Happy Thanksgiving for yesterday! I am without a doubt thankful for my ability to live abroad. It never fails to amaze me what I can do simply because I happen to have native English speaking abilities. It doesn’t feel fair necessarily, but it’s what I have going for me. I’m grateful my parents moved us to the US when I was young and I learned this useful language basically effortlessly. It might just be a very English-speaking person perspective to have, but it does feel incredibly prevalent in the world.
The changed schedule hasn’t been as horrible as I imagined. I have had to stay later to work on my lessons and waking up to go to work on Saturday has been tough, but I made it through the first month of that. There will be another month of this before winter intensives hit and the schedule becomes all ridiculous. December is looking like it will be tough overall. It’s not getting any easier to stay positive, is it? I am doing my best to remember to think good thoughts.
My personal endeavors have taken a bit of a hit this past month though. That may be adding to my difficulty with feeling positive since I’m not managing to progress on my artwork. I have also started skipping yoga classes on Fridays. Attending yoga isn’t rewarding because I don’t feel like I’m making progress. I am aware that stopping will not help me become more proficient, but every time I go I feel quite bad about myself. It shouldn’t feel that embarrassing, but it does.
Korean classes are actually coming to an end for the fall session at the end of November sadly. The next session will be in March perhaps or sometime in the spring. I’m definitely going to have to try to keep up some practice during the long gap of the winter intensive schedule. Considering I do not want to stay another year though, I’m not sure how much Korean I can really learn. I guess it’ll just be another one of the languages I barely know. I have really enjoyed going to the class even though it’s dwindled consistently in attendance. This is another one of those things that make me feel bad about myself. I thought it would be possible to meet people and make friends at the classes. I’m not the best friend maker.
I need to watch and listen to some motivational people to get that inspiration rolling again. Emotional health is tough to keep up — story of my life evidently. I want to do so many things, but, at the same time, I don’t. It’s too overwhelming I guess. I want to draw, learn languages, watch shows, play games, chat with people, work on yoga, learn to cook, write stories. I’m not disciplined enough. I started watching shows again this past month and we can all see that’s put a halt on drawing. For the month of December though, let’s get stuff rolling again.