There are decisions that make you for life, sound decisions that distinguish you for success. Not being in a relationship in the university was the second best decision I made as an undergraduate, it set me apart, made me focused on God and on my assignment.

Here’s why I made such a decision;

I met Bentley 2012 and we started dating in the same year. Bentley was caring, he never took me for granted, he treated me like a queen and wanted the whole world to know me, he was the type of guy who would go out with you and make sure everyone gets to meet you.

“Oh, have you met Catherine?”, “Let me introduce you to my babe”, he would say to his friends if any was close by, so I wasn’t surprised when he said to me, “My mom would love to meet you”.

In this relationship I was never abused, we never kissed and he never touched me.

My point is, physical intimacy wasn’t our focus and that’s surprising because we were not born again. I feel God preserved me, He definitely did. I was young and naive yet I wasn’t abused or humiliated. God was faithful in my unfaithfulness.

Well, I ended this relationship in 2013, you may ask me, “Why!?”.

The reason is, I became born again.

(Surprised?, please keep reading.)

Why did I take out time to tell you about Bentley?, I did that so you’ll know that for a typical lady he was a dream guy, and no lady in her right senses will desire to end such a stress free relationship but I had to because I wasn’t led by my senses anymore, I was led by the Spirit!

I was in a relationship but I was empty, so empty I was loosing my confidence and my mind was limited. I knew there was more, more to the quiet, unfulfilled Catherine, I knew I had to let go of every weight in my life, even if it meant ending my relationship with a “good” guy because it couldn’t satisfy me.

It was void of something I couldn’t figure out then but now I know it was void of life…the life and approval of Christ.

I gave my life to Christ and I began to see myself the way He saw and still sees me; Bold, Strong, Courageous, Useful, Resourceful, Valuable, Great…

I knew I was all these, but I needed to manifest it and so I thought;

“Why don’t I give my university days to seeking God and discovering His purpose for my life?, I can prepare adequately for the future, and even prepare for a great relationship instead of wasting my time with visionless boys”.

I can also remember saying that the next guy I’ll date will be one I’ll get married to and I must build within me value and worth to be able to build that relationship to last, I told myself to prepare to marry a man of utmost respect and impact, someone who will speak and his words will be as though God spoke, someone who’s vision is as potent as an enzyme catalyst because of his accuracy in the Spirit and someone whose personality commands influence. I didn’t know I was speaking about the prophet/visionary kind of man (Read Preparing to be a helpmeet to understand), I was thinking like God here, speaking things into being…hahahaha. God is amazing, I feel like crying but I must continue…

Just then, I told God,

“Lord, I won’t be in a relationship until I’m done with university”.

It was a Huge sacrifice!, But it was worth it, there were days I wanted to compromise but God’s grace abounds and indeed the statement, “Find God to find yourself” is a valid one.

I’ll stop here for now, please Watch out for the part 2 of this post, I’ll be telling you how this was the second best decision I made in the university, the result of this decision.

Disclaimer: This post is in no way telling you not to be in a relationship as an undergraduate, in fact, some graduates are still not fit to be in a relationship, I speak without sentiment or pride but as the Spirit leads. Know God first and be prepared. Nothing in this world will ever satisfy you other than Jesus, even with the best Bae or best friend, a relationship void of the life of Christ is dead.

Hi!, I’m Tochukwu Ezenwammadu, I’ve got a lot to tell you about myself but please remember this about me,

I’m a lady passionate about the glory of God.

I’m also the pioneer of Cafrica, a vision born out of the passion to see people release their potentials for the glory of God and the benefit of humanity.

Contact us:

Instagram: @Cafrica_

Facebook: Cafrica

Here’s my personal contact too, my email is;

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