The Periodic Ostrich Syndrome
I stood for roughly thirty minutes waiting for the crowd at the roadside store to clear up so that I can walk up to the female storekeeper and whisper what I wanted to buy. My mom had told me to do just that. An extra ten minutes standing behind the increasingly growing crowd was the straw that broke the camel’s back so I shouted, “I want pad. Two packs of Comfit!”. Everyone turned to look at me but I managed a straight face. The lady gently wrapped the two packs, making sure to double the black waterproof so that my street people will not know what I had with me. I was only nine years old and running an errand for my mom.
I often look back at that moment and several others over the course of the last fifteen years and wonder why we shy away from discussions on menstruation. Our predisposition is like the story of the ostrich that hides its head in the sand at the sign of danger hoping that that the danger will go away. A range of issues suffer from this ostrich syndrome in Nigeria such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, child abuse, menstruation, pregnancy out of wedlock and abortion. Of peculiar concern to me is menstruation because not only is it a natural part of growth, it is a key part of our formative years as younger, insecure and unaware children who are thrust into a sudden transition from child to not-child; a transition that comes with its unique set of sub-experiences.
The tendency towards not talking about menstruation can result in a lot of miscommunication between a parent and a child; like Ebere whose unanswered prayers led her to curse God. Ebere began menstruating at eleven. When she saw the blood, she assumed she had injured herself so she went to her aunt for help who promptly carried her to her mom. After helping her put on her pad, she told her, “If any boy touches you now, you will get pregnant.” On one occasion, going to the village stream to swim, Ebere innocently took off her clothes as well as her pad. When a friend asked what that thing was, she shyly covered it and jumped into the river. Her desire to pray her cycle to a halt was even stronger because, in her village, menstruation was shrouded in secrecy; there was a prevalent notion that you were dirty and should not be associated with. She hated that feeling so when her cycle came the next month, she cursed God.
Our predisposition possibly stems from the religious injunctions on menstruation. The Holy Bible in Leviticus 15-19-30 refers to a woman menstruating as unclean and not to be approached. It directs that anything she touches should also be treated as unclean and if a man should touch her or anything she touched, he too is unclean. Muslims also believe that based on the sayings of Prophet Muhammad a woman menstruating is unclean and should not practice some rituals i.e. fasting and praying. One such saying is in Quran 2:222. Some further believe that a woman menstruating should neither touch nor read the Quran. Some of these injunctions are loosely adhered to these days, but the underpinning message remains: Unclean. Unapproachable. Dirty.
The etymology of the word period provides another interesting perspective. Period was originally defined as a time during which a disease runs its course. So menstruation, initially referred to as the Period of Menstruation, was viewed as a sickness requiring women to be in isolation for a period of time. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, period as menstruation first appeared in the 19th Century, precisely 1822, describing the end of one blood flow till the beginning of the next blood flow i.e. the 24 to 38 days period and not the blood flow itself. Of note is that period-as-menstruation was classified as period-as-disease.
But when Chidera Azubuike and Chinomnso Sharon found out about menstruation, they did not feel it was a disease or something to be ashamed of. Chidera was thirteen years old while Chinomnso was eleven years old, both inexperienced. Chidera began menstruating during the school holidays; she had slept on an all-white duvet beside her father that fateful night. The next day she woke up to blood all over the duvet. Her father did not bat an eye, he quickly got a bucket and washed the blood off the duvet while giving her a refresher on the Talk, making sure to explain that menstruating is a natural part of life. He also helped her with a tissue because at the time no stores were open to buy pads. Chinomnso was introduced to menstruation when the Always representatives shared pads at her school accompanied with a lecture on how to use them. She was so eager to show what she had learned that as soon as she got home she excitedly dashed for her father’s room to give him a demo but he shyly asked her out of his room.
Our culture and traditions cast adults in a certain light that most times creates an emotional growth gap for children because communication is played down. Society has placed pressure on parents to meet a set of needs so talking about menstruation or cramps with their daughters and sons is seen as the least of their concerns. We end up being reactive rather than proactive because we hide our heads in the sand; avoidable experiences then become a part of our stories. But what happens when the parents are not close by? What happens when we are in school and are stuck between a male teacher and our male classmates or deciding to miss a class session/test to go to the infamous school nurse?
Francis Jessica was an eleven year old student without any experience. Jess began menstruating on a random day in class when she felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen. Thankfully, she had a friend who offered to take her to the school clinic. On standing up, all the boys burst out laughing because of the blood stain of which she was unaware. Ignoring them, she continued her long and painful journey to the clinic where she was given a pad with no directions on how to put it on. On getting back to class, the pad fell to the floor because she had put it on wrongly.
I attended a mixed secondary school which hosted the representatives of Always sanitary pad. During every visit, the representatives spoke to the female students with the female teachers present about menstruation and what to expect. Our male classmates and teachers were never present; in educating the stars of the show, they left out the other key actors. How do we create an environment of mutual respect and understanding if females are carted away on some exclusive seminar; the exclusivity of which paints a picture that there is something unusual or odd that the males should not get involved in because it does not concern them? Thus we miss out on an early avenue to teach female-male partnership. The beauty of learning about this partnership at a young age will be best appreciated in David’s story.
When the Always representatives shared pads in his school, David boldly stretched out his hand to take a pack. Everyone laughed at him. The representatives explained that it was not for boys so he clarified that he wanted to give it to his sister. Everyone laughed even harder but he stood his ground. David was only eleven at the time. He is currently training to be a Medical Doctor and might specialize in Obstetrics and Gynecology.
The first few years of the menstruation journey form a subset of the formative years of children. Unlike most experiences which are driven by our choices or society, menstruation is thrust on us (male and female children alike). Girls have to deal with the sudden change which the boys do not have the slightest clue about while the adults bury their heads in the sand hoping that since they turned out alright, we will as well. So like children in blindfolds we figure our way through and turn out alright with avoidable horrifying and funny stories (that were not funny at the time).
I believe that frank sessions on menstruation present an opening to teach the younger ones care and respect for one another, a time to teach partnership. A great place to start is the simple and informative 1946 cartoon by Walt Disney titled The Story of Menstruation. I also believe it is a time to show children that they can come to us for guidance on any issue and we will respond without judgment because we have taught them to have regard for one another. Adults should also seek open and inclusive schools for their children and wards to ensure the reinforcement of these values. As we seek a society where people do not hide their heads in the sand and people have mutual respect for one another, we should endeavor to utilize the early menstruation years to begin building that society.
