We all want ‘hot sauce’ in our relationships but half the time, it is someone else’s hot sauce we have our eyes on.

Sadly, that hot sauce makes neither of us tick and so frustration sets in easily.

As I get ready to say my goodbyes to Jika and Daddy, a few thoughts just dropped in my heart about what really matters (TO ME) in relationships.

Of the 12 months in 2017, we basically spent less than 4 months together as a family and even when I was in Nigeria hubby was not home for a little over 3 weeks so as a couple, we basically spent about 3 months being in the same space.

Even with the VERY LONG distance and CRAZY time difference, its the year we were closest and spent the most time together AKA talked more (ON THE PHONE).

Not because one of us grew 6 packs or went for cosmetic surgery.

Nothing superficial. Its about the inner work.

We have given each other time to grow and understand each other’s love language yet respecting our individuality. We can’t like the same things.

We can’t have the same friends.

We must not do everything together.

We may not really understand why the other person is crazy about ‘football’ 😉 but we let them enjoy it and support their dreams in the way we know best. The way we know best may not be what you want or expect but its the way we REALLY know best.

Love is not suffocating. Its not always in your face taking up space.

Love thrives regardless and if you are willing you will find ways too have ‘too much sauce’ in that relationship despite the odds. I cannot lie to you and say LONELINESS does not bite me when we are apart but I choose not to dwell on it.

Define what too much sauce means to you – its not what the media says, its not what couple A or B are doing. Focus on what makes you both tick individually and as a couple.

Always remember that everybody’s relationship is what they show you so there is no need for comparison at ALL.

Leave room for growth (5 years) and don’t judge your partner based on your expectations but take the time to know who they really are.

This year, we are looking at maybe 4 months together but the sauce just got hotter🔥🔥

Oh yes, pray for your relationship ALL THE TIME and then LISTEN to hear God speak too. I once read in a devotional to treat my husband as I would treat myself. So don’t just pray, listen and start the work on yourself.

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