People will do things that make other people say “I just don’t want them to get hurt” and it’s a nice sentiment but I can’t think of any time where wanting really hard for something bad to not happen ever stopped bad things from happening. Maybe there isn’t such thing as Good things or Bad things, there are just things. Sometimes they make you feel helpless to change what you see so obviously happening right in front of you, and other times they make you feel like grabbing someone and holding them close to your chest while you say words about forever.

Though that’s kind of a copout, saying “uh actually, there’s no such thing as Good or Bad, everything just ‘is’ and when you really get down to it everything that ‘is’ actually ‘isn’t’ since none of this matters anyway, I mean think about it” and I mean I thought about it and that can’t be right because that would mean the bags that have been under my eyes since I was 3 years old aren’t real. That all the blankets I’ve bought since I moved for the fourth time don’t actually exist and I really like those blankets. Just because being alive is a relatively small segment of light compared to the vast amounts of darkness that come before and after doesn’t make it matter any less than if it went on forever.

Maybe legally all you can really do is figure out the best way to be there for the people you decided that you loved one day and through that you realize they don’t need you to stop them from doing something ‘because you just don’t want them to get hurt,’ because if all of this matters and the bags and the blankets are real then that means that being hurt is real too. That you can feel it when it happens and you can see it happen to other people right in front of you and feel completely helpless to change anything about it but also who asked you to do anything about it? I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. There are people who dedicate years of their life to becoming doctors and then they exist in the world with real actual skills that serve to make the world a better place for more people than anyone could ever possibly keep track of and no, I did not do that. Instead I read a lot of books and checked out several DVDs from the library, so I have a very good idea of how often people say things like ‘I just don’t want them to get hurt’ and how things feel.

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