you are a very sensible person, and this is very very nice; but the life is more difficult for persons like you, because your goal in the life is to find something. What would you find ? wonderful question; wonderful adventure to live. I cannot help you in finding your way, YOU ONLY CAN. But it’s sure that you have all you need to do it. I can only tell you that I love you, that the entire universe love you, just because you are just the way you are. Be proud of being as you are. You are the only living being that may be in that way. I have only a little hint for you, but in your deep you already know it : let fall away all things that burden you, all things that aren’t as you are in your deepest truth … all things and all thoughts, all conditioning thoughts; be free, my dear! be free in your spirit and in your living! I hug you and I whish you the best.
(sorry for my poor and bad english; I would can be more capable to express how I feel of you)