Before you become a musician #7: remember to be nice

Why are artists so in love with themselves?

Artistic work is hard, time-consuming, take a lot of effort which is invisible to the spectator. The final product must be extremely competitive to catch our attention, bring emotions and impress.

It is driven by the unexplained deep need. The need is cherished and celebrated by the artist. The need to create is so demanding that a lot of artists neglect their friends, families, work, education and even money or health. Most are more effective working alone. No surprise that a person only having eyes for their ART and avoiding people will appear to be a narcissist.

There are reasons why stereotypes are born. Many young artists are selfish, small-minded, and too competitive. People have a natural tendency to distinct themselves from the others by emphasizing their best merits — or at least by believing they are better than others. Our identities are being built on comparing, mimicking or distinguishing from others. There is no ‘being oneself’ without others. Even Freud said that we seek our own shortcomings in the others to feel better.

A sensitive, self-oriented ego forces us to put on a mask and to treat everything around as a potential threat. Is there a way to overcome such feelings? Some say the only way is to ask your friends for a honest feedback and to listen more than you talk. Also, to be less skeptical and more curious about the world around.

I may say from my experience that it is sometimes good to learn it the hard way. It’s ok to screw something from time to time. It helps not to believe you are a genius. It helps being humble towards the music and other artists.

Therefore, it’s just better to support other local artists, go to their shows, network with the community. To buy their albums and follow their social media. Not treating yourself too serious and being just a but more humble makes life easier.