How to find the right Coach

Fabian Lübke
Jul 24, 2017 · 4 min read

“Think with the whole body.” — Taisen Deshimaru

There is a high demand for Coaching today. It appears, the younger the company, the clearer the understanding that Coaching is important.

People ask me sometimes: What is the right way to look for a good coach and how do I decide if a Coach is the right one for me?

Today, legally, anyone can call him- or herself a Coach. There are many specializations, qualifications and certificates, which can make the legitimacy and professionality of a Coach hard to determine.

There also still seems to be some confusion on what Coaching is (and is not). For instance, I sometimes receive requests on whether I would be interested in coaching someone on public speaking. My answer usually is that, yes, I can coach anyone aspiring to any goal (and it usually helps, too!), but if you are looking for someone to teach public speaking, you are looking for a trainer, not a Coach.

If you’re not familiar with the difference, a trainer facilitates workshops (or one-on-one trainings for that matter), usually on a pre-selected topic. A Coach usually comes in without any agenda, focussing only on helping you to achieve your goals.

There are specialized Coaches. Coaching with dogs, Coaching with horses, different schools, systems, approaches. How to choose?

TLDR: It is not the qualifications that matter, it is trust.

One frequently discussed aspect is the work expertise of a Coach in the field or position of the potential client.

This is a frequently mentioned aspect, requested often by people in senior leadership positions: “I am looking for a Coach who has also been CEO of a company, preferrably of a company with 100+ employees”

Sounds like a smart idea? It kind of does! However, this is not what makes a coaching process any more effective, it might even cause the opposite. A Coach with seniority in your field can surely give some good advice, but might not be the ideal person to help you create unconventional solutions.

The interest in “field seniority” might be rooted in an understanding of Coaching coming from professional sports, where most of the Coaches have been successful players before becoming Coaches. However, to stay within the formal definition, sports Coaches usually are trainers.

A good Coach doesn’t give advice. A good Coach listens, asks the right questions and helps you to find solutions. Advice is rarely part of this process. I strongly recommend working with a skilled Coach that you like and trust— not someone who’s brain you’d like to pick.

So, regarding our two questions, I have to admit, I don’t have a good answer for the first one. I can’t say where it’s best to start looking for a Coach. But I do have some advice regarding the second part of the question. How do I find out whether a Coach is the right one for me?

Let’s say you’ve found someone you’d potentially like to work with and have a first phonecall or skype meeting. What should you pay attention to?

Firstly, I suggest asking some open questions. Here are a few ideas:

  • What made you become a coach?
  • What aspect do you love most about your work?
  • What are aspects of a successful Coaching process? (or, if you feel like it: What are ways to bomb it completely with a Coach?)
  • What are some common misconceptions about Coaching?
  • What was an experience in your life that you have considered a success, and what was an experience you have considered a failure? What have you learned from these experiences?
  • Have you ever turned down a client, if yes, what was the reason?
  • What was a positive experience you have had with Coaching yourself (as a client)?

Secondly, make a conscious effort to listen. Feel the overall mood and tonality in which the answers are given.

Stay in touch with your body and observe how the answers make you feel.

I would suggest looking for qualities like honesty, reflection, positivity, warmth, humor, spontaneity and general human-ness. Feel if you emotionally trust that person and can imagine feeling well, calm and sane in their company, even in stressful moments.

The chemistry needs to be right. If it isn’t, a good Coach should also feel this and might decline working with you.

Listen to your body, listen to you feelings. And be honest.

Tip: To get in touch with your body, start with feeling your feet one after the other, then slowly move upwards in the body, breathing evenly, while not staring at your smartphone. Give it a minute or two and you’re there.

Finally, please don’t take my word for it. Our mind might trick us, but our feelings rarely do.

Fabian Lübke

Written by

Business Coach & Trainer, Marketing Consultant. Founder https://www.tshirt.consulting. Beginner’s mind.

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