Childless Stepmom

My husband has two children, two diffent mothers. We see one child two nights every week and we have him every other weekend. The other child we see once a month for now. I have no children of my own. I am realizing that I struggle with what is “our life” and what is not. I think that because I did not help create those children with him they are a part of another life. They have their own mother’s and they will never see me as anything more then a glorified nanny. At least this is the way I feel.

The way I feel isn’t necessarily the way things are. I made a promise to myself long ago not to get involved with a man who had offspring. I feel like I need to state that I absolutely adore children. They are a lot of fun and I can now picture myself with one of my own. I worried about how the dynamic would be with someone else’s child and with that woman being in contact with my significant other and has pretty much been as I thought it would be.

My husband is as patient as it gets….really he is. I think any other guy would have cast me aside by now. There is this weird kind of jealousy that eats away at me more frequently now. I don’t even know what the jealousy is over.

I need to look at things differently for my sanity.

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