the sound of…

There is this Death Cab for Cutie Song, we all know how it ends.

I wonder sometimes what actually evokes certain feelings and then I don’t anymore.

I think that a reaction can be just that, a reaction and then you are left picking up the pieces of what you caused. Then the rest of us have to live with it too.

Is it fair? No, it isn’t fair, but it is what it is.

When I allow myself to think about you, I get sad.

I remember how angry I am at you, for so many things, but especially I am angry at how things did not turn out how they should have.

We were supposed to be living at the 7-up lofts in Deep Ellum surrounded by graffiti art and hipster coffee shops. I remember when we first saw them, red and green and quirky. We were to spend our days sipping mate and painting. We were also supposed to lunch.

I believed you when you said we would return together and then I came without you. You visited a few times and then it all feel apart and now you visit, but its not at all how it was supposed to be.

When I see you, I forgive you for the moment. I think because I see into your eyes and I know you wish things had turned out differently.

I don’t even think they are there anymore, the 7up lofts. They still exist though, in my memory of you, us and who we all were.

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