Exorcism (Part II)

One month later I wrote another letter to C. The content of that letter is as follows:

C,

This is not a complaint letter, this is not a farewell letter, this is a closure letter,

For the second time in my life I find myself writing about you. The only difference is this time I am actually addressing my words to you. I know you may think it is pointless to write this, but just disappearing into thin air did not feel right.

I do not have much to say, so this is going to be brief. I want you to know during the time we were together I was truly happy. You made me happy, which, I must add, is not easily achievable.

You can rest assured. Despite the fact, it all ended in another letter, in another pencil mark on a white wall, you will always have a friend in me. For the old times.

There was a E.E. Cumming’s poem I wanted to read to you. I guess it has no meaning now, for the room has been ransacked, and it was not a beautiful one. Nonetheless, I still want to share it with you.

I like my body when it is with your

body. It is quite so new a thing.

Muscles better and nerves more.

I like your body. I like what it does,

I like it hows. I like to feel the spine

of your body and its bones, and the trembling-

firm-smooth ness and which I will

again and again and again

kiss, I like kissing this and that of you,

I like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz

of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes

over parting flesh…And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly I like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

I want to finish this letter with a nonsensical list of meaningful words

Slobber

Unctuousness

Concupiscence

Licentious

Grovel

Groan (delicately)

Moan

Mourn

Distraught

Grievance

Despondency (la tristesse plus que modéré)

Alienation

Indifference

Contempt

(Self-) loathing

Alkyl nitrates

Vodka

Heave

This is not a complaint letter, this is not a farewell letter, this is a closure letter,

U.

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