3 AM Thoughts

Tonight I am wide awake. I walked. I read. I watched some TV. I took my medication. Nothing is working. I want to sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep this whole week. I am stressed and still very upset about losing CeCe and Hailey. The only thing that has been on my mind is death. I want to be next.

I am failing all of my classes and have been considering dropping out. This is how I know I am ready to finally just let go. Graduating high school has been my biggest dream and the reason I keep going but not anymore. I am in so much pain. I can barely get up anymore and I’d rather stay in bed, in the dark all day. I hate everyone and everything around me. I feel so numb and dead on the inside.

I am so sick of living with depression. It has only gotten worse. I don’t seem to see a point in trying anymore and I know it will hurt a lot of people but this has gotten to be too much for me to handle.