Why I don’t make New Year Resolutions

and why New Year Resolutions don’t work

It’s the same practice each year. We’re at a party or a gathering of friends, and the question pops up, “So! What is(are) your New Year resolution(s) this year?”.

There’s something about the beginning of a new calendar year that consciously asks us to have a “fresh start” or “set new goals” and achieve them this year. What stopped you from achieving them last year I ask?

If you so wanted to achieve these goals, or fix something that is not right at the present, why don’t you already have it?

The simple, natural, and subconscious reason is, that we don’t really “want” these things to happen for one reason or another.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about”, “bull$*@t” or some other equally defensive response is what I've provoked you to say right now perhaps. The thing is, that most people haven’t already gotten what their resolutions set out to achieve because they lack the motivation or “need” to do it.

These are things that we are “thinking we should” do as opposed to things that we “want” to do.

Just think, where do most New Year resolutions come from? From the lack of something in your life or from the simple fact that your present self is in a state which you (or others) think isn’t right.

Now consciously we’re thinking that we’re setting ourselves up to right these wrongs, fix what is broken, or achieve a goal; but your subconscious is working against all this.

Psychologist and psychoanalyst Michael Bader says,

“The reason that New Year’s resolutions don’t work is that we have unconscious resolutions not to change. For every conscious resolution to lose weight, stop drinking, save money, call your Mom more often, control your temper, or finish that project, there are unconscious commitments to keep things exactly the way they are.”

This is because you’re actually telling yourself that what you have right now, what you are right now, is something less of what is benchmarked to be the best (or better). This works against you because nobody wants to feel average or below average.

Also, when you set these goals, and you set out to achieve them, then the only reason you’re going to try to achieve these goals, is because you set them. By the time you’ve achieved one goal, you’re wanting to go on to the next, because the current goal has lost all its meaning and value since it’s done. This isn’t the road to happiness nor to resolve to betterment.

Look at any goal-hungry person out there, and you’ll see that they achieve goals because of the thrill of the achievement.

For the most part, these goals lack a personal relevance and are set because you “think you should”. You may be motivated to achieve these goals, but that motivation usually runs dry by the end of January. Over a third of New Year resolutions usually don’t go past January.

This is because of lack of commitment on our part. If the resolutions don’t really, truly connect to you on a personal level, and have meaning to you, chances are you’ll be back to your old ways in no time.

Besides, who says that the rest of the 364 days in the year aren’t just as good to have a fresh start?

Just think. It’s the beginning of a new year, and there you are looking at the rest of the year as a long arduous journey of achieving what you decided over the holidays while having fun with your friends! It’s all downhill from there because you make it look like work compared to the fun you were having at that party you were!

How’s about, we just make them “resolutions” instead of “New Year resolutions”?

Why not choose to do the things that actually mean something to you, ideas which you can fall in love with, things that you feel happy or passionate about?

Forget about the things you “think you should” be doing. Forget what others say or feel.

Think about how you feel. Think about what you feel most passionate about. That’s your resolution.

And you don’t have to wait a whole year to make it.

Do it now, do it mid-year, do it any time you “feel” and “want” it.

May we all be passionate about what we want, and want what we are truly passionate about!