Journeys of a Fake Hippy — Day 3 & 4 (and 5?)
A tale of two hippies
Today is Day 5: Confused? Welcome to my head! While my goal is to post everyday during this experiment, the reality is on Day 3 and 4, I dropped the ball … already. I wrote something on Day 3 (Saturday) and Day 4 (Sunday) but I wasn’t sure how to present it or if I would at all. Now, with the Monday morning hindsight, I’ve realized that together, they’re a nice window into the mind of someone trying and struggling to self-improve. So without further ado, I present Day 3 & 4 with Day 5’s clarity.
Day 3 Experiment over?
Day 3 of being more accountable to myself and I’ve already messed it up. I’m sitting here this morning, with a red wine headache and a sore throat from smoking cigarettes last night.
Have I done (much) worse in an evening? Yes. I’ve been on benders! I have spent the better part of 20 years making poor decisions while drinking too much and have been unhealthy for days or weeks at at a time after such an indulgence. But on Day 3 of starting up a blog where I’m literally chronicling my quest to accomplish the very opposite? I guess I have the faker part down perfectly.
Yesterday, a colleague brought in some wine for an impromptu Friday afternoon unwind. Naturally, I jumped in and drank, noticing immediately that my default pour is more than everyone else. I do fine, I drink more than the other people my age but on par with the 20-somethings in the office who aren’t going home to an evening with young children and a pregnant wife. Then I head home, have a couple more drinks with dinner, eat some pizza and now the real craving that I’ve kept at bay for 7 whole days … a cigarette! *Several more drinks and cigarettes before bed.
Anyway, I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this post so I’m just going to stop, nobody wants to read about a guy drinking and smoking while playing video games. The reality is that nobody is going to read it either way.
The “silver lining” is that before the kids went to bed, as per my Day 2 assignment, my kids have helped us plan a super packed day of activities. So I get to do them with a headache!
Day 4 Super Hippy!
I rallied yesterday, and had an amazing day.
Day 3 & 4 Assignments
- Find and participate in an online yoga program for runners. (I’ve never done yoga) — Shout out to Yoga with Adriene’s 30 Days of Yoga, what an amazing intro for someone like me who has no idea what he’s doing. I can’t even describe how great I felt after the Day One video.
- Kids Day — Let my kids be in charge of all plans for tomorrow, whatever they want is what we’ll do. — With some guidance and subliminal messaging, the kids planned an amazing day that involved music, bus rides, ice cream and a movie night.
- No cellphone at all during Kid’s Day. — This could, should and potentially will be a post in itself. All I did was turn off my data plan and put my phone on vibrate. It’s incredible how much more focused and engaged I was with my family and my surroundings. This is something I’m adopting into everyday life…on weekends and evenings, especially if the kids are present, my phone is away with data turned off.
Long story short, my minor headache went away once I got into the sunshine and fresh air. The shame of resetting my quit smoking app subsided and a full day with family reminded me why I don’t want to smoke in the first place.
Day 5 Postmortem
I’m not going to lie, neither of these posts “wowed” me. But together, they show the highs and lows of self-improvement. Not every day is going to be a winner, but for me, hopefully more of them will be in the future. When they aren’t, my goal is to have built up more protection from being totally destroyed for a while by them.
Day 4 continued after the post was completed. I did 2 of the 30 minute sessions of Cosmic Yoga with my kids. They loved it and I broke a sweat. I ran 8km in my barefoot shoes and completed Day 2 with Adriane before bed.
I also stole a page from AA and added a phone reminder set to go off shortly after my kids are asleep. A simple message: “Play the Tape Forward”. The idea is to “watch the video” ahead of time and remember how I’ll feel in the morning when I begin consider (what I deem to be) negative choices for myself.
- Start reading — Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind
- Day 3 of Yoga
- Drink kombucha
- Plan a camping night for the kids this weekend
- Play the Tape Forward