Good evening America. It’s 2014. A new fight for your Internet’s future has begun. Today I continue my analysis of net neutrality. If you missed part 1, watch it here:
Oh, come on. This matters to you. Just stick with me for a moment…
Wait. Are you reading this on the Web? Or in a printed newspaper?
The current FCC Chairman, Tom Wheeler, has proposed rules to alter how the Internet works. American legal scholars, academics, politicians, some academics becoming politicians, and naturally a few techno-executives are debating these different proposals. From my limited view as a faux fake news anchor that delivers real stories backed by my unabashed British opinion, it appears that the proposed changes may move forward. This will alter how the Internet works, for everyone.
While normally I wouldn’t express my personal views (oh bullshit, I do this all the time… are you not watching my show on HBO On Demand? Cord-cutters: I’m talking to you) I’ve decided to outline my thoughts because Net Neutrality seems to be pretty hard to understand, and important to everyone I know, that is still a living sighted human. Many bright people don’t even know the debate is happening right now. The largest driving reason I’ve decided to post this is because I believe that America must be great for entrepreneurs and new enterprise. Folks just like me.
I do not believe Chairman Wheeler’s proposed changes are good for entrepreneurs and new businesses.
So, because it is bad for me, it is likely bad for other good people like me.
(Note: As my username indicates, I am not the real John Oliver, only inhabiting his persona, with a clear disclosure.) Well, you might still think, maybe it is actually me, the Real John Oliver. Lo, let me now assure you, I am not who you think I am not. To be frank, the real and very genuine American culture commentator John Oliver devoted half of the June 1 HBO news-ish show to Net Neutrality as the centerpiece issue… I am a fake, who happens to write prose in a freakishly similar way to how I imagine the real John Oliver talks. As John is a satiricist, this is purely satire of a satirist. Albeit somewhat more witty than the original.
So then: what is net neutrality?
Despite my best efforts for the show providing some of the best coverage of “possibly the most boring topic ever spoken in English” — the real issues remain almost undecipherable to most Americans.
While I might give the debate its proverbial 15 minutes, on high-definition cable television, plus receiving over 5 million views on YouTube, not to mention millions more U.S. tv viewers who tune in via cable and DVR/VOD — and doing the most entertaining coverage ever… you people still won’t take action.
If you want to know what net neutrality is in all its painfully boring glory, please read this as a primer. It is quite good.
The facts of the matter are that Net Neutrality is a system of rules, meant to prevent your provider of Internet service from charging you as consumers for the Internet directly, and also indirectly. That could be considered charging you twice, for the same thing. While America is a capitalist economy, it was also founded on the ideal of no taxation without representation. And you see, charging you twice for the same thing can be considered “double taxation.”
You see, ISPs (Time Warner, Comcast, AT&T, etc.) charge you for providing you with Internet service. You get that bill every month, right? But only once.
Also: Do you still get it in the mail, or have you switched to receive it online via email? Think about switching. Save a tree, won’t you.
These companies can’t legally charge you a second fee from the services you choose to use (say Netflix, Hulu, Pandora, or Spotify). You can choose to use whatever services you like on the Internet, and visit whichever websites you want, and AT&T cannot force you to pay more for it. That is what I call an “open Internet.”
That way, every service can provide you with their best service they can deliver. Netflix can compete with Hulu. And Pandora can compete with Spotity.
Your ISP has to continue to provide you with the service you pay them for, broadband access.
And naturally, the ISPs have to invest in their services too, or else you will switch from Comcast to Time-Warner Cable. You see, that is just pure and simple beautiful capitalism at work, baby. Good ol’ American business, done straight.
This partially works because these services can’t just pay the ISPs more, to enhance their service, and therefore degrade a competitor’s service. If that were to happen, even if it meant they could stay in your good graces, then it would be harder for a young upstart to gain a foothold to provide a competing service.
Did you know that Netflix didn’t broadcast a single video stream 5 years ago? It’s true. Do you remember they were sending DVDs through the US Postal Service, mailing discs to you. Can you guess who actually gave them that idea? Yes, AOL.
What Makes America Great? The Little Guy (aka “the underdog”)
Shouldn’t you have the choice to use Netflix or Hulu? or enjoy both?
I personally love having the choice to watch silly cat home movies and incredible GoPro action videos on whatever website they get posted. Mark my words, I will relish the day that GoPro makes its play to dethrone YouTube…because as everyone knows, I prefer whatever is epic over what is comic. My comedic career be damned, I’ll learn how to half-pipe heli-ski if I must!
But until that day comes, this competition is good for consumers. Today, the U.S. government protects you as a consumer from this Internet “double taxation” — and it also ensures a competitive market… we give the underdog a fighting chance.
This is what makes America great.
This is why Uber, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, Google, eBay, PayPal, Hulu, Microsoft all got started here in America. In fact, many of these company’s got started here in America by people who AREN’T AMERICAN. The most talented people in the world come here, to start companies.
In fact, it’s even why your television is dominated by John Stewart, Steven Colbert and me… because we could not make our comedy shows anywhere besides in America. Because we were all underdogs. I remember watching John Stewart do a standup comedy act at the University of Florida Gator Growl show 20 years ago. He was an underdog, and made 40,000 people that night know his name.
Look it up for yourself, if you like. Because: it’s on the Internet.
Just as the IRS makes you pay tax once, but protects you from paying taxes twice (read about that here). The FCC should protect you from paying unnecessary Internet service fees, especially paying for the same thing twice …at least, it has until recently.
You see, the latest scheme the ISPs want to use to charge more for the same service involves charging consumers indirectly. They are aiming to charge the service providers.
They’ve been trying to do this for a while.
Now they’ve actually made headway, charging Netflix a fee for sending you the content you request from them. (Holy shit. Yes, they really do that already. You click on a movie, and the ISP that you already pay wants to charge Netflix for responding to you. Verizon is seriously flipping the bird at the U.S. government. And the other ISPs are wondering, “Can I be next?”)
Yes, it’s a shame the ISPs won’t charge your mother-in-law for calling you that same way. Maybe she would stop completely if they did.
Here’s how else this can go badly wrong, taking Netflix as an example:
- Netflix could pass the cost on to you, increasing the price of the service, and effectively making you pay twice for the same service. That would suck. Comcast wins. Consumers lose.
- Netflix could decide to pay the ISP more to degrade the service of a smaller rival
- say, like Hulu (which is owned by all the media firms who refuse to license content to Netflix)…
- Or, a new video company called PetFlix, might never be started by an intrepid entrepreneur and pet-lover if she cannot raise the capital to pay for the content and to distribute the content to consumers.
- Netflix could stop innovating on their video service offering…
- because they can use economies of scale to maintain their position, paying for consumer access, instead of producing good content
- Or, stop enhancing their content licenses because they box-out other companies through tolls paid to an ISP, via a “fast lane.”
You see, all of this would be really really shitty.
Maybe things aren’t going to be dire if the ISPs only charge big companies a little more, because obviously Netflix is very popular. But then, isn’t that popularity actually good for the cable industry? Isn’t that exactly why you pay for broadband… to get Netflix.
The truth is, the cable industry favors big guys, and favors scale. The people who have the largest base of subscribers actually pay the least for their content… and the smaller cablers have to shoulder more of the cost of the content.
The song is the same: unless the government does it’s job, naturally the little guys get screwed by the big guys. Obviously.
It’s just business. Nothing personal.
Now, to be fair these ISPs (Time-Warner, AT&T, Comcast, etc.) are just rational American businesses who seek to make greater profits… and by George they should try! That is what makes them the solid businesses they are.
In fact, if I were paid better, I might buy stock in the ISP companies, or even some of their corporate bonds. Of course as a faux-quasi-employee of HBO via Time-Warner, many of my eggs are already in your basket, Mr. Plepler.
Competition Gives the Davids a Shot
At some point (hopefully soon) the government must decide a) when are these companies providing a service versus b) when are they delivering something that is critical for American consumers and businesses.
I believe the open Internet is critical for American consumers and businesses.
To me American innovation and competitiveness matter most, because they are the basis of what makes America the greatest country in the world. You see, every quarter we check on the health of the economy via a Jobs Report. And almost 50% of job growth in America continues to come from small businesses, especially new ones getting started. Now I don’t know if that statistic is actually true, but I think it is.
Reid Hoffman, the founder and Chairman of LinkedIn, the world’s most professional social network, with 300 million (or so) people using it to search for other professional folks, wants to ensure that America stays focused on job growth too.
Last year he wrote in an essay in the Washington Post:
As of 2011, 42 percent of U.S.-based companies on the Fortune 500 list, accounting for a total of more than 10 million jobs worldwide, were started by U.S. immigrants or their children. Between 1990 and 2005, 25 percent of our highest-growth companies were founded by foreign-born entrepreneurs. That growth means more jobs and a more robust economy for all of us.
The issue at stake with Net Neutrality is much deeper than some particular rules… for some particular telecom media technology companies.
This is about the U.S. remaining the birthplace for new businesses, innovation and the home for risk takers. America needs to remain the hub for innovation in technology and science. Our economy remains the engine that drives the world forward.
Simply put, quibbling over definitions in implementing rules to permit a minor scale corporate profiteering is getting in the way of American industry itself, and global interests.
Article II. Rule 706a. Grawhaglkagp!
Said another way, we should not fuck with this.
It is too important for us as a country to allow for the breakdown of net neutrality.
There should be no fast lanes or slow lanes, or lanes whatsoever. And #this, is coming from me, a faux faux spokesperson who works in media exclusively, for big media. I am paid well to have an opinion. Sort of.
However, mine is not the only voice that matters… The voice that matters most is yours. And many of you have spoken. Over 1 million letters were sent in with comments to the FCC, in the last 3 months. June 2014 — August 2014 have been busy for you. Plus hundreds of companies have sent their own letters, in support of Net Neutrality. Indeed, President Obama’s administration even made it clear that he wants to preserve the open Internet. Way to go Obam-istration!
So, I would like your help still. To raise further awareness about this issue.
Next week or thereabouts, on September 15, the FCC will close its window for additional comments. Before then I’d like your voice to be heard, that this issue is important to you… I would like to ask you to share this post via your Facebook, or Twitter, or Recommend it below on Medium, and include the #keepitopen tag in your post.
I would like to ask you to share this post via your Facebook, or Twitter, or Recommend it below, and include the #keepitopen tag in your post.
Yes, please copy the link, the URL, and share it. That is all.
Let your voice be heard. Don’t be taxed twice. Together we can get the government to know we care, and that we believe the Internet is a service for everyone. And that the open Internet is what makes America the greatest country in the world.
-Mr. John Q. Oliver
The Truly Fake John Oliver
Elder Statesmen of the American Republic of Some-sense
Lastly, I want to make a my position clear / be upfront, that you don’t have to agree with my opinions. Or like my argument. Or even watch my show. I will still love you… if you share this post (above) with more people on the Internets. Click “Recommend” below if you liked it.
Personally, I believe the solution to keep the Internet open is for the Internet to be treated like a utility in America. It also will keep America the most open-for-business country in the world.
If you live in the United States of America, you know that don’t have to pay twice for your water to run, or your electricity to flow, at your home. Paying once is enough. There are many good companies endorsed by the government that gladly provide you with your other essential services, without interruption. That should be true for the Internet.
God bless the Internet. God bless America. And God bless HBO and Comedy Central.
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