I feel like I’m somewhere in the middle or the beginning of the end of act 2 of an arc of some sort. So far, this arc has been shitty. Shitty, shitty, I tell you.
However, not all is lost, since if you’re familiar with fiction writing or story, there’s this little thing called “character development.” So naturally, I resort to chalking this all up to my character progress, but I’m not sure. I guess you call unsavory things what you want them to be, no?
So, anyway, if you’re not familiar with the concept, I’ll give you a brief explanation:
A story is typically divided into 3 acts, of which the main character goes through the beginning of his/her journey, finds a struggle, and resolves the issue through reinventing himself/herself. The issue usually is one that changes the character’s fundamentals and is typically followed by the character’s development. Some choose to be better versions of themselves, and some choose to go the other direction. Either way, the character undergoes development and comes out a different person. Then, he/she would continue to triumph, relatively speaking.
That’s the general idea.
Now, what does it all have anything to do with me? Well, for one, I’ve been going through a lot, and for two, I can feel I’m changing. Whether for better or for worse, that’s yet to be seen, but I am changing. How do I know this? A little while ago, I had a talk with a good friend of mine, and we talked about how certain things in my life now don’t quite feel like they used to. He said, “You know what that’s called? Maturing.” He continued, “Forgoing a used guitar for therapy? That’s character development.” He previously linked me to a used Fender acoustic guitar that I might’ve been interested in. I was kind of interested, but then I told him I couldn’t; need the money for therapy.
Then it struck me.
I have been going through a trying time, and I am changing. For the first time in a long ass time, I was sure of what I wanted, and just when I was sure of it, it was taken from me. That kind of shit will do a lot of damage to anyone, trust me. That kind of thing changes people. God knows I don’t need to be any more bitter than this, so I guess I’m becoming more open? I talk to more people and I open up more. That’s a… good thing?
Even the fucking The Pattern app. Yes, The Pattern, suggests that during Jan 5–15 I’m going through what they call a “redemption” phase, in which I get to resolve unfinished issues, complete my projects, and be a better version of myself. I swear that app can be scary accurate sometimes. I read it for shits and giggles, but it has a point. Maybe this is my shot at redemption. A chance to redeem myself and actually be better.
In any case, this has been a lengthy act 2 for me, and I cannot wait for the beginning of act 3 where I get to triumph (sorta). I’m just at a crossroads, but I can’t seem to decide. I just hope I don’t slip and die, or do I? We’ll never know.