“ I like hanging out with people who are intelligent and good looking”

If I say that, the ‘good looking’ part will raise eyebrows while the ‘intelligent’ one is totally acceptable. Why??

Aren't both looks and intelligence part nature and part nurture? Your genes determine your basic face and body structure and how you age. Rest depends on your grooming, lifestyle and confidence/ comfort. Similarly your genes determine your basic type and level of intelligence. Rest depends on your mental grooming (education), lifestyle and confidence/ comfort.

There may be some reasons why intelligence is given more importance over looks, like:

· With time, looks generally tend to go down while intelligence tends to improve. Not always though! Sometimes people learn to groom themselves and find a look that suits them later in life. Also, confidence/ comfort improve with age.

In really old age both skin and brain start to wrinkle and hang loose!

· Keeping intelligent company improves one’s own level of intelligence but hanging out with good looking people doesn't improve my looks! Think again. Just like intelligent conversations and expectations can nudge one to be sharper, I think hanging out with well groomed, confident people can also inspire one to improve in that department. Or not, equally in both cases.

And in the case of extremes, a gifted mathematics genius will only inspire awe and curiosity just like an amazingly gorgeous man/ woman. No inspiration/ help there.

Why is asking people to ‘improve their skills’ in areas of intelligence politically correct but suggesting the same in case of looks a taboo?! Both looks and intelligence are of different types and there are no standard winners — just multiple peaks. Asking an Asian to conform to European standards of looks will be absurd. But it is equally absurd to expect a kinesthetic person to learn by rote memory. Or expect every child to excel at Maths.

Societal norms and needs lead to biases in both cases — a certain look and a certain type of intelligence are ‘trendy’ at any given point of time. And then we have some classics — long lasting favourites.

Can this same logic be extended to other qualities? Is the quality of love and compassion also nature and nurture? Is their expression culturally different? Is it unreasonable to expect everyone to be loving and caring? Is it ok to blame them if they are not?

Looks, intelligence and compassion may have more in common than we think. Think again !