Breaking the chains of Patriarchy
The debates on what rights women want, the impact of feminism, the ills of oppression of a gender have been going on since forever, with plenty of people giving their individual opinions on them. In this article, let’s look at it with an unbiased view. What has been happening in our society forever? How much longer before we turn to look at the little things that contribute in big ways?
We are all familiar with the fact that the people we spend time with, and the environment we live in, all influence our beliefs, thoughts and ideas to a great deal. Most of our beliefs and stereotypes can be attributed to the cognitive biases we have in our brains. And often, it all begins at home.
Jimmy is a toddler. Like everyone else his age, he is extremely observant of his or her surroundings. Jimmy learns to observe the language and behaviour of people around him, and learns a lot. Jimmy’s father happens to be a rough man who spent most of his time at work, and little at home. Once he scolded Jimmy, and when Jimmy cried, he got a dozen more, asking, “Are you a girl Jimmy? Stop crying.” Jill, Jimmy’s elder sister told their mother, that she wanted to be a pilot. Their mother scolded her saying “Darling, you’ll not be able to take care of a family like that. Those aren’t jobs for girls.”
These very little things that people might deem harmless, or completely natural, are the little things that start moulding beliefs in the growing individual. As Jimmy grows up, with everyone following the age old values, he sees more and more things that simply enforce his beliefs. Jimmy ends up forming an idea of — ‘this is how a girl is supposed to be’, or ‘this is how a boy is supposed to be’. His beliefs pass on to his children and so on. Each of us have been Jimmy, at some point. And unless we decide to make a change here, a lot of things will remain the same.
If the same thing has been repeated long enough, people believe it to be true, otherwise known as the illusory truth effect. We have had generations upon generations limiting the woman’s ability to take decisions for herself. True that perhaps women who have spent a lifetime without education might not know what the best choice would be. But that is where the change has to be created. Provide her the education she needs, like any other individual. Men have dominated certain fields for ages, irrespective of biological differences. How can a group of men, with absolutely zero representation of any other community, take decisions for all of them? If this goes on forever, with men taking decisions for everyone else, without proper consultation, how will women ever get out of this loop? The solution again, is NOT to shut women out completely, or select few random women and ask their opinion. No.
The solution is to offer the other communities, or women, equal opportunities, without gender stereotypes, and let the individual who works his or her way to the top, be rewarded for it.
A family needs money to survive. There must be some source of income. Since the biological differences cannot be overlooked, in a family, a woman who gave birth, may not have been able to take care of her child, and work at the same time (in the old days, when people did not have enough knowledge or resources), and the man took care of that part.
Biological differences might influence the choices and thoughts of an individual to a great extent. But a woman should never be taught that she is worthless with a uterus incapable of reproduction. Do not diminish her value into this fact alone. Being a parent, is a great thing on its own. Bringing up a child with the right values, is not easy. Anyone who makes sacrifices and bears the pain of bringing human life into this world, and does it well, needs to be appreciated. But that doesn’t mean, an individual is useless if he/she chooses not to do that. In the same way, blaming men or boys for being expressive, is a bad thing. Two people must be able to decide what’s best for them, without others sitting and dictating how they should do things.
History has shown us plenty of women who have proven themselves to be absolutely brilliant in roles the society doesn’t see fit for women, when given the same opportunity. The moral of the story is that people who make it to the top are those who have had both the opportunity, and the diligence to work their way to the top. Opportunity alone is not enough. Brilliance alone is not enough. So opportunity has to be equalized, and then when the individuals compete with sheer effort and talent from their part, we can see magnificent differences.
Language and culture, have forever had very important roles in shaping our lives. To expect a big change overnight would be surprising. Rome was not built in a day. But if we don’t change these little things, the big ones never will. So at least now, let us stop passing on the same thing as our ancestors, and stop assigning stereotypes to people. Let an individual decide on his/her own, the things they wish to do. With equal opportunities, who knows how much more a person can contribute?! It is high time to stop sitting around passing our own judgment and creating more stereotypes. Instead, educate a generation! We have a lot of damage already, that needs fixing. Start at your own homes, creating awareness. A bad deed is a bad deed, whoever does that, and it needs reprimanding. Similarly, a good deed deserves respect or appreciation.
Let us not contribute to anything that might demean a human being. Teach your children the right things. You reap what you sow. Respect everyone around you regardless of gender. After centuries of doing things differently, the responsibility is on each one of us, to do our best to help straighten things out. Hope we all excel in treating people well!
