Alzheimer’s is my enemy

The mum is the heart of the family. Without a mum, life is hard.

The last time I saw my mum was April 1986. I was 13, and I was in the last year of middle school. She left us to give us a better life by working. I vividly remember the night she left because I cried all night up until the morning. That day I did not go to school because I was up all night. I gave my mother a huge hug and I said “Allah knows the next time we’ll se each other”.

There was 5 of us children, and I was the eldest and the youngest being 3 years old. I became the mother and the big sister to my siblings. My dad raised us and words cannot explain how much I love him.

I finished high school in 1990, after starting in 1986. Then I went into employment, working in a few places to earn some money for my family. Then the civil war of 1991 erupted in Somalia. Yet, I hadn’t seen my mother. The war had gone on for a significant period of time. I left Somalia, moved to England and got married. However, for my marriage my mother wasn’t present and I had to inform her over the phone. When I became a mother for the first time, my mother wasn’t there and again, informed her over the phone. When I gave birth to my other two sons, she wasn’t present. As my kids got older, they started to question when they’d see their grandma.

After 26 years, I saw my mother in October 2012 when she moved to Holland. I told my younger sister to keep it a secret from her so that I could surprise her. I clearly remember my mother sitting on the couch watching TV when I entered the living room and I said “Hello, mum, it’s Farhia” and she was extremely happy and we both broke down into tears. She kept asking “Is this Farhia?” because she left a young girl and saw a woman with her children. We talked constantly for a whole week. Then I went back to her in the summer break and stayed with her for 20 days. The first 10 days we talked, and after 10 days, I noticed that something was wrong. I thought that it was possibly down due to the 26 year time apart.

Day by day, I used to observe her and then we went back in 2015 and recognsied that she was in early stage Alzheimer’s. Now I’m fighting time but I can’t do a thing about it — Everthing is in God’s will.

I wish we didn’t spend 26 years apart. I sat one day, and wrote this:

“Mum, I am your flesh. I hadn’t seen you in a long time. I found you too late. There’s nothing I can get angry at. I love you more than anything in the world. I would never substitute you for anything. I miss your hugs. I miss your beautiful laugh.”

A note for my husband: I wouldn’t survive without my husband for all these years; day and night. Without you, I wouldn’t be here.

N.B: I can only pray that scientists find a cure for Alzheimer’s.