I’m Bringing #DevOps Into The Mainstream Like A Big Nasty Momma Cat Carrying Cat Babies In Her Mouth
I am amazed at how incredible and explosive the growth of DevOps has been in the last few months. And it is all thanks to me, the Perfect DevOps Human, who almost singlehandedly is responsible for this amazing development.
“Jon, you are truly a diamond. Everyone loves DevOps now because of you. Thank you so much for changing our lives and making everything better… including the entire world.” — God
The big problem with DevOps has been solved: What is DevOps? The answer is this: Give a dang crap, don’t pass the buck, and don’t do anything Jon wouldn’t do.
Sometimes guys at software companies get on their blogs and say DevOps can be summarized by “CAMS” or Culture, Automation, Measurement, Sharing. But they should call it “SCAM” if you ask this guy right here, because it’s more or less a bunch of bad bologna.
The first step is Culture? You mean, like, don’t surround yourself with pieces of crap people? Uh, OK, genius.
Then Automation? That’s a good first thing... for clowns to do. At the circus. Idiot. Automate first and you’re on the path to pain. That’s what I say. Automation is cool but you can’t just jump into it.
Measurement? How about you measure my roundhouse kick, tough guy?
And last—Sharing? Sharing isn’t last, man. Sharing is first. In fact sharing should be the culture, and the culture should be you goofballs digging a hole and sticking your heads in it. DevOps is back, baby.
Bottom line, don’t listen to these guys when it comes to prescriptives. They don’t even know what they’re talking about. Kinda like when they’ll go off on Twitter about how “Enterprise DevOps” is exactly the same as normal DevOps, then go attend a conference called “Enterprise DevOps Summit” where enterprise people go to talk about DevOps issues unique to the enterprise. Why would you even do that? Come on, quit playing.
Everyone’s DevOps is different, you guys. And that makes everyone a DevOps thought leader. You, me, and anyone else who gives a leap.
(Especially me, though.)
Jon Hendren is the preeminent DevOps Thought Leader. He is based in Mountain View, CA, and is extremely good-looking.