20 Things Men Can Do RTFN to Support Women
Helen Rosner

I am sorry for all the hate the list is getting. You did a good thing for good reasons. If it changes even one person for good, its worth it. But number twenty is wrong. I dont know what your story is. But adult men should never, ever, ever befriend children. Even close family members, like cousins…. there is no good that can come of it. People will think you are a pedophile. It doesnt matter if you are just playing board games in the dining room in full view of everyone once a week. People will say you are a pedophile… the better the kid likes you (because maybe you dont scream at them, belittle them, berate them, beat them, lose your temper over nothing) makes you more suspicious in the public eyes as a possible pedo. Are you single? Even worse. Their parents, your own parents, any outside observer, will suspect you. All kinds of weird emotions get involved, parents might be jealous you can teach their kid some skill set better than they can. Maybe you tell better jokes. Whatever. Anything that is not official, like coach, or church, or school is unacceptable. Even those I would avoid because people will still think youre a pedophile. Men… dont coach team sports. Dont be a youth pastor. Dont be a teacher. The only males that the public wont suspect of pedophilia are actual pedophiles. Look at Woody Allen.. everyone knows he is allegedly a pedophile, he makes movies about almost being a pedophile, and people still say “well hes not really a pedophile… he couldnt be”. But innocent people get suspected of it all the time. Male teachers. Male coaches. All of them. Dont interact with children.

At all. Ever. I dont know where this idea came from to befriend children but it its completely disconnected from how reality works. Yes kids need mentors or role models. But men need to stay above suspicion, they need to stay off peoples shit list, and they need to stay out of legal trouble. None of these ally-wishing list-writers are going to help a man when the whisper network starts up about that guy “befriending” children. Think of it this way. Do men beftiend married women at work? When? Men go hang out after work and socialize with married women? Why arent thoae married people spending their limited free time with their spouse? Its suspicious. Why arent that kids parents spending time with that kid? Same thing. Its inherently a problem. Its fundamentally a situation with no upside for the adult male

Do Not Befriend Children. Nobody wants men to do this. They just think they want men to do it. I know it sounds harsh but we live in a harsh world. A brutal, bitter world. And a man being in suspicion or jail unjustly is not going to improve it.

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