What Are We Really Afraid Of?
We all are afraid of something in our life. It may be of losing money, trying out new things, letting go of people and so on. For me, i always got intimidated by the things i can’t control. And that’s the common fear that almost all of us got because except for ourselves everything is out of our hand. We are the ones who create these illusions of fear in our minds, and then we feed off them. Fear is thus a reaction to a perceived threat — imagined or real. So what to do to overcome the fears we have? Off course we need to be a pro to get over our fears with few practices in life. There’s a saying-
“Overcoming what frightens you the most strengthens you the most.”
And we all want to feel super strong while facing our fear!
So how to try to get over the fear?
With my recent research, I've found that by following this few rules we can actually become the master of our fears and these can help us rule over the fears that we’ve got.
First Rule: “Don’t you dare doubt on yourself”
Before taking any action in our life we always start to consider whether we’ll be able to do it or not. We start to compare ourselves to others who are already doing what we want to do, also we start to think, “ What if i’m not good enough then I’d never be able to achieve what i want.” And thinking all these are the result of self doubt. If we want to achieve great things in life or even just want to have inner peace, we need to step out of our comfort zone and try something totally new without thinking much whether we’ll be able to do it or not. At least we have to try so that at the end of the day we don’t live with the regret that “what if we have tried that thing then life could have been different!”
Always remember the lines from Shakespeare-
“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
So dare not to doubt!
Second Rule: “Don’t ask for others advice”
Over time I realized that most of what I was hearing from others wasn’t relevant to me, and even when it was helpful, it didn’t mean squat because I wasn’t willing to act. I was in no mood to do much of anything, so those advice became a mild addiction for me. And It had been the perfect narrative fallacy as I was able to convince myself that I was making tangible changes in my life when I wasn’t doing a damn thing. Generally, the smartest people haven’t been really giving me advice at all. In fact, they have been saying: I don’t know. This is your path, and you’re going to have to figure it out on your own. And they are actually right the path on which i want to walk has to be walked by me and myself only and there is no second option. One of my friends even told me-
“Don’t listen to anyone. Everyone is scared.”
Which is a fact true, indeed we are all scared, so, i guess we need to follow our instinct even if we want to hear others advice.
Third Rule: “Do take one step at a time”
Always remember that even if time flies high we need to take one step at a time because then these small steps that we take every day add up and when we look back down the line we’ll be able to see that we’ve covered some distance. There’s a Chinese proverb saying-
“It’s better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.”
So don’t allow any challenge of life to break you. Don’t allow any difficult experience to derail you from pursuing your dreams. Just take one step at a time have faith and move forward.
Fourth Rule: “Don’t be afraid to change for good”
There’s a quote by Rumi-
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself”
So my perception of this quote is- we trying to change what we get from life is without first changing what we know about life and that’s like putting on dry clothes over wet ones and then wondering why we keep shivering. We must stop trying to change what we are getting for ourselves and go to work on changing what we are giving to ourselves. It is vital for us to realize that life has not held back its riches from us. The truth is, we have been held back from real life by a false nature which thinks life is meant to be suffered through and that all there is to insulate it from a harsh world is what it can win and possess for itself. While there is no denying our world is becoming crueler, there is also no denying that we are the world. Neither our individual world nor the global one can change until the connection between what we experience and who we are is no longer denied.
So change for a better version of yourself!
And here are some action points to adapt
- Embrace the change even if it’s negative because change is the only constant after all!
- Stay open to all possibilities.
- Challenge yourself continuously.
- Think big!
- Hold onto your close ones tight. Mark my words, you’ll be needing them a lot more than they need you. And finally
- Actions, actions and actions!
Action is the greatest cure for all of our fear. We just have to decide what we want to achieve, then have to start doing the work right away. Have to focus on the task at hand. Then the next task, then the next. Actions are more powerful than great books, great blogs, great motivational speakers, or even great plans. So we need to start working and everything else will just follow!
Note: I am no philosopher neither am I the expert one who can lecture people on overcoming the fear they have, but what i could perceive out of my love of reading and with my short life till today is that we are all afraid and it’s OK to be afraid, that’s humane but it’s also important to try to overcome those fears and to move forward for that GOD has sent us in this world for a reason and everyone’s contribution in this world is important!