Legacy

What will appear on your epitaph? 

It didn’t take getting married, and starting a new life chapter with my wife for me to recognize the gravity of what a legacy is or what it can be. Prior to marriage, I've always been an introspective soul who’s working diligently to keep myself grounded and appreciative for everything life has given me to this point.

Being nice, compassionate, loving, understanding, and charitable can be summed up for showing appreciation for life. I can vividly remember when I was not that much younger than I am now, yearning for ‘more.’ This ‘more’ kept me empty, unsatisfied, and borderline depressed. When I turned my attention toward being selfless, accepting and desiring ‘what I have’ that was the moment that my glass felt more full.

Fast forward to my auf ruf (Jewish groom pre-wedding ritual) on April 20, 2013, a little less than 3 weeks prior to my wedding. I gave a speech that was my personal preamble entering marriage eyes wide open, ready to bring those same intangibles that have made me most comfortable in my own skin to this lifelong matrimony. In it, I made a clear reference to the two people who've inspired me to work towards being a better contributor to this life (outside my parents and wife). My Aunt Marlene who passed away 18 years ago and Jennifer Goodman Linn who passed in 2011. Both were incredibly strong people who turned their physical and emotional bouts with cancer into inspiring moments for present and future generations to become ‘change agents.’ If we think about it, ‘healthy’ people are complacent. They enjoy their routine, the monotony of life, they’re comfortable. Why do we wait til our health and/or life is in jeopardy to think of the imaginary ‘bucket list?’

The past few weeks, I've read articles about ‘legacy.’ When your life is over, how would you want to be remembered? The lowest common denominator is not the ‘what is your legacy?’ but ‘who is your legacy?’ Dave Kerpen’s chance encounter on a flight with late-Senator Frank Lautenberg has been replaying in my head. I highly recommend reading it when you have a few moments. The late-senator was an incredibly successful businessman having co-founded ADP and then later in his life served and represented New Jersey in the US Senate for decades. Of those two crowning achievements you’d think he’d chose one to be defined by? Think again. He evoked his children and grandchildren as has his legacy - as what people paying respects at his grave will see written on his epitaph.

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130204172115-15077789-3-amazing-life-lessons-from-a-chance-encounter

I also remember someone who didn’t have children per-se, but who adopted the 8 million+ inhabitants of the city of New York. The uninhibited and unapologetic former Mayor, Ed Koch. Back in February, Mayor Koch gave a candid interview with Piers Morgan. One of the many questions Piers proceeded to ask, “what do you want written on your epitaph?”

http://cnnpressroom.blogs.cnn.com/2013/02/01/piers-morgan-tonight-former-mayor-ed-koch/

Children, students in my Aunt’s case, an organization like Cycle for Survival co-founded by Jen Goodman Linn or in Mayor Koch’s case an adopted community provide the ideal conduit for an everlasting legacy that will stand the test of time, and not the limited shelf life of superficial accolades.