The Lone Scotsman (Euros 2024 Remix)
Hugh McDougall, or Shug, as he is usually called, lives in the town of Methyl in the Kingdom of Fife, Scotland. The 62 year old by his own admission is unique in Scotland. He supports the England football team.
This attitude seems at odds with his surroundings. My interview takes place in a living room covered in tartan, where he proudly displays amongst various official Scotland football team memorabilia, a framed piece of Wembley turf from the 1977 Home International Scotland victory over England (the pitch invasion one). The turf sits between an old SNP, ‘It’s Our Oil’ poster, and a signed photo of Sean Connery as James Bond. I suggest to Shug that if you look around the room his position seems a bit of a contradiction.
“Don’t get me wrang,” said Shug, “If Scotland are in tournaments I support them, but we’ve been knocked out again. VAR, the enemy of the Scots.” Shug was happy to elaborate on this statement, and explained that VAR stands for “Video Anti Radges.” Shug believes that the football refereeing community think all Scots are Radges, which is informal Scottish slang for “a wild, crazy, or violent person.” With the conspiracy theories out the way Shug returned to why he supports the Auld Enemy.
“Bottom line is England is part of Britain. If England wins the Euros Britain wins the Euros. Obvious eh? You see that piece of turf on the wall? I took that as a souvenir to celebrate a historic victory. The press were all like, ‘Jocks steal Wembley turf.’ It’s no stealing if it’s yours eh? If Football’s coming home, it’s coming home to Britain. Us Scots invented football!”
Shug’s support of the Auld Enemy isn’t widely popular as confirmed by vox popping his fellow Scots. Many expressed their opinion with one word, “Numptee,” Words such as “Fanny,” “Bawbag” and “Quisling” were also popular. Other opinions were more articulate. Kelly Anne Marie from Glasgow asked, “Is he actually Scots?” Fergus from Aberdeen said, “Fit’s he takkin aboot?!?” One of the more interesting contributions came from Sally from Dundee who said, “I think he should be, should be…. What’s that bird that disnae fly?” “An Ostrich?” I offered. “Aye, that’s, what he should be.” However Alasdair from Edinburgh was supportive, up to a point. “I admire him. He’s thought this through and has taken a controversial position. He’s obviously a man of principle. Although in the final analysis he is talking utter shite. Scots do not support England.”
I shared the opinions with Shug. “Don’t get me wrang,” he said, “I’d take England losing on penalties in a final. But apart from that, I’d support England 111 percent. Besides, the Scots law of averages means at least one of the England team could’ve qualified to play for us.”
Finally, I asked Shug, “So, Scotland one day win an international trophy. Would that historic victory be shared with England?” he quickly responded, “Naw!”
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Thanks to my girlfriend Hen.
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