25ish Memes That Accurately Sum Up Your Job Search Experience
Orig. Published 4/16/2015
Finding gainful employment in today’s society is a journey of Homeric proportions… *pours a bit of coffee on the ground* This is for all my unemployed homies in the struggle.
Congratulations! You have just spent 4 years and thousands of dollars on getting a degree. Now, let’s get you a job!
After scouring the internet for hours you come across the perfect job. You scroll through the post and…
Yep! That’s right! You have to have 3–5 years experience in order to get a job that would never require anyone to have 3–5 years experience. So you keep looking. You find more jobs (aka internships) that fit your experience. You are ready to apply, but…
You scroll down to see those dreaded words, “Cover letter required.”
You save the job and keep looking for something that you can apply to quickly. You see it, the beautiful “Apply” button on LinkedIn! You press the button, attach a resume and feel like a winner.
Now, you can see your future laid out of you. It looks beautiful…
After repeating this process numerous times, you decide that a cover letter would help your chances of getting an interview and subsequently a job. So you sit down and write an awesome cover letter. You review it a million times — combing through every detail. It’s perfect! You send it with your resume.
Now, you have found another job. After spending the better part of the day crafting your perfect cover letter, you think it can be tweaked slightly and sent with another application. You review it stringently. It’s ready! You press send and realize…
You panic, but it’s too late. All you can do is hope that the people in HR will think it’s some elaborate prank.
Days, weeks, months go by, and eventually you get an email. A potential employer would like to meet with you and get the interview process rolling. You are so excited about FINALLY getting an interview…
You feel crushed and begin to spend a copious amount of time on the internet looking at memes or posts about memes. Especially memes like this…
Then you become desperate. You start applying to any job posts that say, “0–2 years experience.”
Weeks later you become even more frustrated!
Your friends and family see your desperation and they tell you corny stuff like…
But after a while they too become frustrated and tell you to “Just get a job!” Angrily you reply, “…
You try to explain to them that it’s not that easy, because this is what your job search actually looks…
So you go back on the hunt for THE job. You reach out to your network, do cold calls and join LinkedIn groups hoping that something will turn up.
You finally get a whiff of activity!
You hear from the recruiter. They would like to call you in for an interview. You arrived to your interview ready to GTO (get the offer).
You are super prepared for you interview. Then the hiring manager asks you that typical interview question, “Why do you want to work here?” Although you reply like this…
The interview ends. You nailed it! The recruiter tells you that they will, “Call you in two weeks.” You think, “Great!” until week three rolls around. You become convinced that you are the butt of jokes at cocktail parties.
Eventually you reach out to the hiring manager. You don’t get a reply.
You hear from HR a MONTH LATER, “Dear so-and-so, thank you, but no thanks…” You somberly read the e-mail, but then you feel a ting of hope. “We will be sure to keep your resume on file.” You think, “Maybe they like me after all…” Trust us, they don’t.
But don’t worry, because when you get that new job we’ll be here to celebrate.
Originally published at www.fatgirlsguidetobusiness.com.