Lessons On Being in Tune with Your Star Player: Putting Your Team in Place

Orig. Published 1/23/2015

In the 2008 movie It’s Pimpin’ Pimpin’, Katt Williams advised us “to be in tune with our star player.” Although I paid lip-service to the concept, I did not have the courage to completely tune into myself. I focused on everyone and everything else. Eventually, I lost myself in the process. Recently I have begun a journey to get back to “the middle.” Inevitably, I have started with evaluating those relationships closest to me. In the past, I never took inventory of this because of one reason or another. Mostly it was because I knew that the results would be negative. I prescribed to the school of thought that “ignorance is bliss.” I made excuses for those around me and dismissed their blatant disrespect because I loved them.

But in the immortal words of Tina Turner, “What’s love got to do with it?” Sure, I loved them, cared for them and prayed for them, but the simple fact is they did not love me, care for me or pray for me nearly as much. I was the only one being depleted. It was easy for them to take, but it was hard for them to give.

I know some of you are wondering, “Why is this relevant? I can do bad all myself. I been doing bad all by myself. I take care of me. I am my team!” Yeah, yeah… I’ve heard it all before. It’s true you can make sh*t happen — after all you are your star-player, but at the end of the day you need “teamwork to make the dream work.” Forging your path is tough and the world is cruel. It can be lonely on your way to the top. There comes a time when you need someone to encourage you and tell you, “You are okay.”

Your team is a key tool to your success. If formed correctly they will keep your star player in check, help deflect negativity and elevate you. If formed improperly, your team can be a source of stress, distraction and doubt. The last thing you need is anything, or anyone, taking focus away from your goals.

Sure, overtime those who are not true will make themselves known. However, if you are looking to expedite this process here are 5 questions to ask yourself when evaluating who your “real” friends are:

Do they add or distract?

Do they clap when you win?

Do they belittle your success (no matter how big or small)?

Do they have your back?

Do they “sharpen” you?

Depending on the answers it may be time for you to pick up some new recruits.

Created by Peniel Enchill

The Takeaway
You are worthy of a team of like minded people to be there for you as much as you are there for them. You may look around and see that you do not have anyone on your team fitting that description today. That’s okay. Don’t worry. Be patient. Ask for wisdom, guidance and discernment. Stepping into this new year do not be afraid to drop old baggage. It does not matter how long you have know that person or what they have done for you in the past. It’s about what they have done for you lately. Be open to incorporating new people into your life. You may be surprised to see how drastically things change.

*This post is dedicated to my ride or dies. You know who you are. “If birds of a feather flock together, thank you for being so fly!”