“Better to be interested than being interesting”

Fatima Iftikhar
Jul 21, 2017 · 4 min read

I have recently come across this amazing book “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie and i regret not to have it read earlier. This book is no less than a treasure chest. I read only one chapter and it blew me away. It was full of lessons and inspirational quotes. I would like to share some of those quotes and they carry big fat lessons.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

The above mentioned quote is very simple yet difficult to practice, no? I mean, how often do we listen to others? We certainly don’t. We all want to be heard, understood and, feel secure but we barely want to pay heed to what a person is saying or what does he reflect from his tone, his body language and most importantly from his words. Right?

- Let’s listen to each other

Yes, we spend more time to be the interesting one. But this isn’t going to take us any far. The world needs good listeners, those who are humble and interested in what is happening around. Whenever I go in car and stop at a signal, i wonder that there are so many cars standing around and each car has a different story inside it. Everyone is in a state of constant struggle either physically or psychologically. I feel the urge to go to them and listen to what they are going through. How they are being treated by life but, ain’t nobody got time for that.

We cannot deny the fact that we all need someone to look up to; but now a days every one has become too self-centered that we only want to be heard and nobody want to hear. Dale Carnegie writes: “If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way”. And i couldn’t agree more.

Keeping the idea of being interested rather than interesting, i reached out to a few people whom i haven’t spoken with for a while. I called my Nana and asked him how’s he doing. He told me with a heavy voice “My child, i am sick and counting the last days of my life”. My eyes got cloudy, i didn’t know what to speak because i was guilty of not reaching out earlier. But you know, it’s never too late. So, i mustered up some courage and asked him about his routine. In the beginning, he was not speaking so much but as i kept asking him questions like “How do you go to mosque for prayers, 5 times a day?” He replied with great pride that he has got a strong pair of legs. :’) I asked him many such questions and it was a great conversation and in the end, he asked me why did i call him today? And i promised him that i will come to see him and let him know the reason. :’)

Similarly, i called a teacher and she was surprised to hear from me. She was sure that i must have called to ask for a favor. But when i told her that i am calling her to say-hi and ask how’s she dealing with life, she took a pause and very specifically she spoke; “I got divorce and my mother is suffering from paralysis and now a days i am taking care of her” I got shook by her words because i knew that her father died when she was too young and she has no other sibling and she was living with her mother. There was a long pause but as soon as I wanted to say something to console her, she said that she is happy. I was stunned and asked her how did she manage to stay happy in such circumstances and then she told me about her awful married life and the condition of her sick mother. She told me so many things and there was a lot to learn from her story. She had been strong throughout her life and at the end of the conversation I told her how proud i am to be her student. :’)

I reached out for a few friends as well and they also told me about their unsupported circumstances and their ambitions and goals in life. I could totally relate to them. Cutting short, It was a wonderful experience and i have taken a vow to myself that “Every weekend, i will call someone who may need to be heard and be a good listener and remain sensitive to the needs of my peers”. :’) I shall end this with a beautiful quote by Dale Carnegie

Let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people, things that require time, energy, unselfishness and, thoughtfulness.

)

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade