When Facing the Storm
When people say relationships are tough they are not kidding.
It takes a huge amount of effort to look at a person day after day, month after month, and year after year and remember why you love this person. And maybe some days you will come to the conclusion that you don’t actually like this person. And that is okay.
Relationships go through seasons and perhaps some relationships even experience some global warming with their seasons. The blistery cold thunderstorm in the middle of summer or the “take off some layers” on a hot day in the middle of winter. It knocks you by surprise but everyone will give you that knowing look shrug their shoulders and say it is the effects of global warming. And somehow that rationale is sufficient for most people. But to others it is not and it may feel like you are actually stuck in a season of global warming. And this can make things a tad uncomfortable. Because as the seasons changes so do feelings and sometimes it’s going to feel that you have to muster everything inside of you to wake up next to this person every morning.
Worst yet when having them in your space can at times feel suffocating. And you not sure what to do, where to turn, and where do you go from here. There is no right and wrong answer when it comes to this. Everyone will do what is best for them. But in situations like this it’s best to follow your heart and lean into your vulnerability.
Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Anger, resentment, hurt, pain, irritation, and the list goes on. Because once we allow ourselves to be honest with ourselves then only do we find out who we really are and where we have to be. We mask the pain and we swallow the vulnerability thinking that this is what we have to do. This is what the world around us wants. So we pretend, we pretend everything is fine. We use more filters on our Instagram pics and we keep the pain and tears inside only for ourselves. We wake up every morning comforting ourselves with the lie, that everything is all right. Perhaps today we will find our way out of this storm.
But the lies, they eventually catch up with us. And because the first time we tried to swallow and hide our feelings, the second time around they hits us harder. This time it doesn’t hit us from nowhere, it hits us right in the gut knocking the air out of us. Because we refused to listen the first time. We were afraid to feel what we needed to feel.
It’s never easy to say that we vulnerable, that we are hurt, that we are sorry, that we need to talk. And sometimes we have to be brutally honest and say maybe we need to start over. We need to question why are we here or why do we still need to be here?
And somewhere in all that we find the spring of our seasons despite us weathering the storm inside of us.