If you are feeling Uncomfortable now, know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning, not an ending. If you want to achieve something big, you have to d a lot.

Even if you are not a morning person but you want a big change in life. Simply wake up in the morning. Surely you will see the change.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you have yet not done.”

_Thomas Jefferson

I think this is the only way to overcome your fear and conquer yourself. I have so many fears e.g. Glossophobia (Fear of Public Speaking),Fear of rejection, Fear of bad comments of people, Fear of entering in new relationship, Fear of expressing my emotions towards persons, situations etc…

I can’t speak in front of a crowd. I can’t share my emotions and experiences but now I am trying to overcome my fears. That’s why! I decided to write.I decided to speak infront of people. I decided to attend the parties, Seminars and social gathering.

Few day ago I heard about Yubing Zhang (Associate at McKinsey & Company). She shared her story on social media.

She said: “It’s a cold and foggy winter morning and I am standing on the World’s tallest platform (CN Tower, Toronto). The platform is so tiny that I have to stand on my toes and balance myself against the wind. I can feel the rope on my ankle slowly dragging me down. I look down all the buildings and the roads are buried in heavy fog. There is only voice in my head that I can’t do this. So, I turn around and tell them that i want to quit and then I see a huge quote printed on the glass window right next to me

“Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone”.

I don’t know why but this short quote was much powerful which gives me the final push before I realize it I walk straight back to the platform and jump up the world’s highest platform.

During the five seconds of free fall I remember think in myself

It’s not as scary as it looks’.

and that thought let a whole new World every time I hear the voice of fear in my head take a deep breath and tell myself It’s never as scary as it looks.”

I also heard a story of eighteen year old girl who registered a case of domestic violence against her husband. She was so emotionally physically abused that she was trembling all the time. On her face there was anxiety, fear and shame on that day he refused to go back to her husband. She knew that she should leave her husband because he would do the same again and again. She was scared because she had been married since 14 depending on him for survival and do not know that she could live her life on her own.

After the three months of vocational training at rehabilitation center she regain her confidence. Step out of the fear of failure, found a new job and separated with her husband. She started a new chapter of life at the edge of her comfort zone.

She might be an extreme example but I can see myself in her and may be you can too. For me it’s a fear of public speaking.

Here I want to share a dialogue. My friend always advised me to overcome my fear of public speaking.

One day she said: “You have to face your fear”.
I replied: “OH, I can’t”.
She: “What you mean you can’t you can. What’s about your future? What’s about consequences? You know what happens to the people who can’t speak up in front of others? What’s about tomorrow when you have to speak up in front of board meeting in front of interview panel? For how long you can try to escape from this? Do you want a lifetime pain of anxiety failure and regret?
short term fear
There are two choices one is to face the short term fear and get escape from permanent failure and the other is to avoid your fear and get a lifetime loss. What you want to choose?
I: “Of course, I don’t want to become a looser but there are so many issues you can’t understand. i can’t speak i get nervous”.
She: “All people get nervous. Even the great scholars get nervous”.
I: “What if I forget?”
She: “That’s interesting, I don’t know i think people going to hang you if you forget your speech. Or you going to be on the front page of newspaper for forgetting your speech. It’s going to be insane”.
I: “English is also a problem for me. I am not fluent in English you know. It just make me awkward”.
What you want now but what is essential
She: “English! OH what’s about all the successful Europeans who speak broken English all the tim?. People are not judging you on your English, they are testing you by your confidence and you really want to go back because you can’t speak English and you really going to back because you don’t speak English and want to get escape from this situation and enter the entire life of mediocrity because people are laughing at your English.”
I: “I can’t speak in front of so many people. Give me 5, 6 people then i’Ill try”.
She: “Don’t you want more people to notice you? Do you want an audience of 3 to 2 people clapping for you?

After this dialogue I feel little more confident and every time i speak in front of others I feel more confident and I feel that I am few steps closer to my desires. This one helps me a lot to face my fear by going beyond my comfort zone. Simply I want to say that don’t be a Sheep, Be a Lion. Don’t be a follower, be a leader. They don’t know where they are going. They don’t lead but the Lion. It’s about having the courage to stand and fight for your life, having the strength to go bravely in your own direction. Everyone has the heart of lion inside him let it out, let it scream out of you like the lion unleash the beast in you.

Believe in yourself

I have also some other types of fears but I can overcome now and you can also. Simply I would say that Believe in yourself then you can achieve anything what you want. You have to done the thing you have not yet done to achieve what you have not yet had. Exit from your comfort zone and you will see the change. :)