Goodbye A Million Times: Realistically Navigating the Twin Soul Relationship Part I

I knew it when I saw him.

I can not say the feeling was love at first sight or even romantic at first.

It was one of recognition and import.

My conscious mind had not taken in his physical features yet.

I had not decided if I thought he was handsome or not.

Yet, my eyes were stuck, and followed his every movement.

Even when I looked away for a second, or he moved about in the crowd, my eyes found my way back to him.

I observed everything. His mannerisms. His speech. His body language and finally his eyes..

Later that evening we would connect on social media. (Thanks technology) We were in the same circle and I was surprised we had not crossed paths before. I played it cool and just observed him. We exchanged a few likes and comments; one or two friendly messages. I told him he seemed interesting. Then, a few weeks later, something drew his attention to me and the messages and requests to hang out (which I declined for weeks) began; then subsequently, this adventurous ride.

Because this is how it works: You recognize something about each other; even if you can not articulate it.

Countless articles can be found which define twin souls/twin flames.While they are insightful, it was best that my definition came from my experiences, intuition, and an amalgamation of what I'd read. The twin soul/flame is literally two halves of the same soul.

This explains the immense intensity of the connection early on.

According to Tanaaz, creator of Forever Conscious and writer of "The Twin Flame", she consulted her spirit guides for a definition she could believe in. Consequently, I found that much of what she said resonated with me.

According to what they told her, " When you reach a certain level of consciousness or higher frequency level in one life, your soul has to split into two to come back down into the physical body. This means there are essentially two of you roaming the earth. Both of you are in a way, half of the energy you originally were."

While I am unsure of the "split in two," I make it a habit to respect messages from guides while acknowledging they may have been subjective. One thing is for certain: Your twin flame is your mirror. Not your compliment.

She continues:

"This energetic split does not happen to everyone. It only happens to those who have reached a certain frequency... When you come together, the relationship is very, very intense. This is because you are not only dealing with the 'baggage' in your own mind and body but you also have to deal with your 'baggage' in another body."

There you have it.

In romanticized fantasies of the twin flame relationship, this fact is often skipped over; as well as the fact that one twin is typically more developed and aware of what is going on than the other. This is why one indication of a twin flame relationship is a significant age difference, though outliers do exist. It is very possible for a twin not to recognize their other half at all; because they simply have not reached that level of awareness yet. Until self love is truly learned and implemented, one or both will project their shadows onto the other. This is the true source of the pain.

I suspect many have come to this article because they hope they are with their twin flame and are looking for solutions to navigate the relationship, and reassurance they will live happily ever after in the end. I can say with a bit of certainty more than likely you are not in this relationship and if you are, there is a very real possibility it will not end in "happily ever after."

I say this because the twin flame relationship is rare. I say this because romance as a component of the twin flame relationship has been overemphasized. While sexual union of twin flames is a consistent feature; committed relationships are not. It is not impossible, however it often does not reach that point. People frequently confuse a soulmate or romantic partner with the twin flame. They are not the same. Your jerk of a boyfriend whom you repeatedly break up and reunite with is probably not your twin flame. The woman you dated a few years ago that you can't stop thinking about is likely not your twin flame. Your spouse is likely not your twin flame. If you paid some sort of spiritual worker to show you how to "attract your twin flame" and this resulted in a relationship, that person is very likely NOT your twin flame. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Your twin does not need "attracting". They are you, and when the two of you are ready for that intense a phase of evolution, you will find each other, and this is only determined by the work you do on yourself. You as a pair have a sort of "tracking system". You will find each other. Your twin flame aka twin soul is NOT THE ANSWER TO YOUR ROMANTIC DREAMS. Please take these words to heart. It will save you a lot of self delusion. Your twin flame arrives to push your evolution, to force you to face your shadows, to make you release all that is holding you back, and this process is not comfortable. It is painful and you need to realistically prepare for that.

By our first intimate encounter, I knew exactly who and what he was. I had yet to read one article on the matter. I knew. I did not have the words to articulate it but there was a sense of finality; not because I expected to be with him forever, but more because it felt like the beginning of a completion of sorts. It felt like it was the realest that real would ever get in a soul connection sense. I hinted at things in our conversations to feel him out, and to see what he believed in. The intensity of the connection sent me reeling. Me, who had all sorts of "magical" experiences my whole life found myself knocked off of my center by the intensity of this interaction. Me, who regularly had prophetic dreams and visions was astounded at the level of psychic connection shared with this person.

It was not the first, but it was the strongest.

Be aware that this level of connection can be unnerving. You feel everything.

We shared many moments of being fascinated with this connection; of being able to sense each other, of being able to "hear" each other's voices even when miles apart.. Then came the other side...

Because, just as strongly as I could feel his connection to me, was as strongly as I could feel when he pulled away.

Your twin soul WILL pull away, or you will pull away. It is an inevitable part of this process.

It either felt completely barren as though I had stepped into an empty, dark room, or a gut-wrenching anxiety right at my solar plexus. I would later learn that this area is where the energetic chord joins the two.

By divine design, we were thrown into circumstances which required us to have daily interaction. It did not take long for his pain, or rather OUR pain to surface.

To be continued. Part II January 17, 2017

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Photo credit: Unknown