Day 27 — Siberia, California (Population: 3)

My driver showed up today in one of the most beat up cars I’ve been picked up in. The right rear door where I got in had been in a crash recently and the paint had been sandblasted down to slightly match the rest of the car without actually painting it again.

As ominous as the outside appeared, the interior painted a different picture. I was greeted with the familiar scent of floral Glade Plugins and an unexpected symphony of classical music over nice rear speakers. This was the first time ever that an Uber driver had played classical music for me and it was a pleasant surprise. I’m usually getting a dose of the latest pop garbage, easy listening, or rap.


In another unexpected twist, my driver was female. We chatted a little bit, but Maria was short and terse with me and wasn’t interested at all in telling me her life story. I couldn’t figure out why “Maria” was wearing a traditional Russian winter cap and had a heavy Russian/Eastern European accent and was driving what I would suspect would be a typical car from a Cold War Era Eastern Bloc country. But I decided it was better not to ask any more questions as Russian and Persian relations historically have not always been the best.

Greg: Ready for the Polar Vortex

We picked up Greg in my neighborhood as our second passenger and after seeing his outfit (see pic), I quickly got on the Weather app on my phone to see if there was a blizzard rolling in today that I wasn’t aware of . The app assured me that it was going to be close to 70 and sunny all day. So, where the hell was Olga driving me and Greg to dressed in their winter outfits? Maybe I had punched in Lake Tahoe by accident instead of my office or I was being kidnapped by the Menlo Park chapter of the Russian Mob. No such luck. I arrived at work on time and waved goodbye to Boris and Natasha.

Maria Olga Svetlana Mikahlov: 5 Stars and a Hero of the Russian Federation Medal of Honor

Greg: 5 Yogurt Sodas for heeding his Mom’s advice and wearing a hat and jacket so he doesn’t catch a cold.

(Bob, why are you putting yourself through this? Why don’t you just buy a car? Read the Fat Uber Daddy Mission Statement here)

(I’m late to this party, where can I see what happened the previous days? Go here)