World Bi Visibility Day FAQ

Q: What do you mean, “bi”?

A: Being bi means you are attracted to people of the same and also different genders (in whatever degree). This can be tricky, because people assume your sexual preference based on the partner(s) you’re with at the time. For example, if a man dates exclusively women and then dates a man, a common response is “oh! he was gay all along!” If this person identifies as bisexual, comments like this can be hurtful or insulting to them and their former partners. It’s okay to like everyone!

Q: So bi people are promiscuous?

A: No more or less than straight or gay people. I mean, there’s a wider range of choice, potentially? But that doesn’t mean that, for example, bi people in straight relationships are all yearning for illicit same-sex affairs: at least, no more than people who are only attracted to one gender.

Q: Then what’s the difference between a bisexual person in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, and a straight person in the same situation?

A: Practically, nothing. They’re there because they are committed to that relationship.

Q: So what’s “bi visibility”?

A: It can be convenient to assume, for example, that a bisexual woman married to a man is straight, because it matches a dominant traditional relationship model. People in this situation are effectively camouflaged as straight (unless they choose to be open about their identity). There is also (at last) growing acceptance for same-sex couples, which is great, but it means that a bisexual person in a same-sex relationship just gets labelled “gay” (see above). So bisexual people can be hard to spot in the wild. This is a problem for people who are discovering their bisexual identity, because it can be hard to find people to talk to about what they’re feeling and experiencing: it’s easy to feel not straight enough to fit in with straight society and not queer enough to be something else. It’s really important to know that regardless of who you love right now, it’s okay to feel attracted to whomever you like, and to feel supported as part of the LGBTIQ+ community (and to contribute to that community) if that’s your jam.

Q: How do you become bi? It sounds neat.

A: Well, I don’t think you do. I think you recognise that you are bi, and the way that happens is just listening to your heart? Watching Empire Records and realising you have crushes on both Robin Tunney AND Rory Cochrane is a good clue, though (insert less dated pop culture reference here).

Q: Why does bisexuality need its own day? There’s heaps of gay stuff already!

A: To encourage discussions like this, I guess?

Q: Wait, so… Matt Powell, are you bisexual?

A: Thanks for understanding. Happy Bi Visibility Day! 💖💜💙

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