Gaming: Finding my groove

I really don’t know what exactly this post will be about but I will talk about my gaming experience. So, part of my day now includes hours of gaming on FIFA 20 on PS-4 — I like to think I do okay. This post won’t be about how much I suck at the game, I want to speak more about emotion in gaming.

If you know games a little, you can testify about how hard it is to transition from PES to FIFA on Playstation/PC and I must confess it was quite hard for me to drop all I had known from way back and learn the FIFA way — pass, pass, pass, and quickly while you are at it. If you know me well, you know I wouldn’t jump on new things until I can make sense of it i.e. I can understand the ‘why’.

I suffered an ample number of defeats at the hands of friends and honestly, I took them on the chin but I discovered in a hard way that I didn’t like losing one bit, losing used to suck big time, I watched this Kobe Bryant Interview and found it useful. After struggling against this change in ideas and patterns for long, I realized I had to embrace the inevitable — open my mind to learn new tricks or keep living with the feeling of losing every day — this decision was a no-brainer.

I wandered into my then flat mate’s room Olushi Luqman O. and saw him taking some training sessions on FIFA 19, this was someone who was arguably the best in the flat at this game and I took the challenge head-on.

So, one night after losing a number of games, after everyone went to bed, I decided to take the training and I dwelt on passing a lot because I realized I lost possession a lot and FIFA required holding on to the ball or that’s how I like it being played, after all, I am an Arsenal fan. I went to bed that night knowing I was better and things started getting better from then.

Losing games

To understand how I feel when I lose games, I need to describe how I approach each game. When I play against someone I think I am better than, I approach the game in a certain way to sharpen my skills, learn a thing or two and of course, beat them so much that they start to doubt their own abilities, hopefully, make them raise their next game so it can be interesting and ultimately, get them to think twice before playing me next time. And if I end up losing just one game, imagine when Barcelona loses a game to a 4th tier division team in the league, that feeling of disappointment right? That, I think, sums up my feelings.

Then, I play against someone I think is better than I am, it’s an opportunity to show myself I am good enough and beat them too at their game.

The role of feedback

For every and any game, I take active/passive feedback from the game after it is done, what I did wrong, why was I able to get 4 goals, why do I usually concede early into games, why would I have 10 shots and only 3 on target, how do my opponents approach each game against me and more questions like that. I believe this attribute is one of the most important ingredients to growing and improving in whatever one does.

Life is about ups and downs

I have come to learn that in gaming, no matter how good you are or get, there are some days you won’t just get it right due to some inexplicable reasons. You can play 3 games, win it all with high margins and the next 5 would be heavy losses. You don’t sit there and sulk, this is when the role of feedback becomes important to me, I start questioning myself, why did I lose that game? Did I not defend well? Am I tired already? Is it a motivation issue? Am I taking this game seriously? In no time, I am bounced back to winning or I walk away, take the long road view and come back another day.

How emotions come into play

I want you to read this section with an open mind because it’s just an opinion, if you don’t agree with me, give it 5 minutes.

I have come to realize the place of emotion and emotional intelligence in every stage of life from playing FIFA. How you feel when you score a goal, winning a game by a 4-goal margin, coming back from a 3-goal deficit to tie the game or snatch a last-minute win, how you perceive the emotion of your opponent and play accordingly; all these are emotions that are great and pivot you for the next game.

Let me explain this using an example from my experience a few nights back:

I played a stretch of games against one of my mates, it started around 20:10 and ended around 00:20. While we played, I observed how his emotion changed with every game, every goal he got, every goal I returned in kind, every loss I handed him. These were important because I had to adapt my game as things changed. I had come to notice he thrived on scoring plenty of goals, so I knew if I could restrict his chances of getting them, I could pummel him to bits and pieces and that I did. At a great cost, I must add, as it took so much concentration and approaching each game like a battle.

Once an opponent knows what makes you tick, you either adapt or you are done

At some point, I discovered I was always conceding early on in the game started so I took feedback from this and re-strategised. I had to ensure I starved him of the ball and not mess up and lose possession in dangerous positions. I got this to work but failed at it a couple of times too.

I also took satisfaction in watching the smile grow on his face with each goal he got and vanish in an instant when the goals pour in like hell-fire missiles, this I knew would affect the next game because he would try harder to ensure it didn’t occur again which invariably opened him to more mistakes and I could then pounce on the opportunity to make him pay.

Going 4 goals down

In one of the games, I found myself 4 goals down in the 40th minute; coming from an 8-game winning streak; see what I said earlier about life being about ups and downs? When the half was over, I must admit I panicked for some minutes and almost threw in the towel- well, in my mind. Questions started pouring in, How do I look myself in the eye tomorrow knowing I ran from a challenge? The next question was how do I turn this around? I told myself, just get the first goal and then whatever happens afterward would have to come after. But importantly, I had to tell myself I could do this, even though I couldn’t even say it loud enough for me to hear, yeah you read right, I was in full panic mode.

I gave it a shot anyways, even though I wasn’t sure I would turn it around

I got the first goal in the 49th minute and I saw my opponent’s face through the corner of my eyes and knew he was starting to panic, I got the second and third goals, stole a look again and could see doubt written all over his face, that moment, I knew I had him, I just had to keep squeezing, I knew I was going to get the 4th goal and possibly win the game right then. Eventually, I did get the equalizer.

It was exhilarating to come back from 4 goals down and tie the game but the most satisfying was the look of disappointment I left on his face and thought, “yeah, this is why we play this game”.

I cannot quantify how much it fires me up when my opponent has the slightest glimmer of hope in their eyes because they got a goal back or equalized. That riles me up so much and I tell myself, I will wipe that smile off your face.!!! Neither can I explain the satisfaction I get from watching the hope disappear after I score the winning goal(s) usually late in the game, all the work they put in, out the window in a second, sweet!!!

Notice how I keep using the word “Opponent”, well yeah, it is because almost every single game I play right now, even if it is against a dear friend, I am usually always playing to enjoy the game, dominate and ultimately win, I am not here to smile at you and lose. Some games, I find it difficult to dominate the game-play but I would still take a win over that.

So, gaming is no longer a relaxing activity for me, it stresses me out because of the tactics, the emotions, and planning that goes into execution but yeah, I love it like that, it brings out the mamba in me.