Why Do We Hurt the Ones We Love?
Professor Jennifer Hurley

Sometimes, the ones we love hurt us and this is why we distance ourselves from them, but that only hurts them more, and they become more bitter, which in turn hurts us. It is a downward spiral. For example, if a child feels distressed by constantly being close to his/her parents who are bitter and angry due to their own stress, that child may avoid his/her parents. This might cause the parents to feel hurt and force the child to spend “family time” with them, which only makes the child more uncomfortable and want to hide more. If the child hides more, the parents feel more upset and become more bitter, causing the child to hide even more.

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