Fay
Fay
Nov 6 · 5 min read

Is a woman, a woman’s worst enemy?

As I was riding home from work today, a male presenter on the radio posed a question for the general audience: Are women, women’s worst enemy? This statement tagged at the strings of my heart. As a woman it left me wondering, this may ring true but has it been proven for a fact? Is there any element of certitude to it? I recalled Maya Angelou’s words: “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” Therefore, sharing my thoughts for not even a penny, below is a brief yet insightful demonstration of women being women’s best source of positivity, encouragement and support.

It has often been said a woman would not want to see a fellow woman succeed. Whether this is speculation, stereotypical or pure conjecture by the opposite gender is yet to be scientifically measured and verified.

Well…let me tell you a bit about the women in my life and I would think this is widely applicable to the larger female demographic. In a world where women’s population exceeds our counterpart’s, there is need for us to stick together, be on cooperative terms even though our common ground would just be that; being women.

Citing a few albeit worthy examples, look at our mothers for instance! Personally, my mother is the most compassionate, loving being in the whole universe for me. She has been and always will be my greatest supporter, my most loyal fan despite being my most outspoken rebuke. She has raised us to emulate a pristine, precise way of life. She opened my eyes to the true strength of a woman and that still waters run deep. Not to say she doesn’t reprimand me when I am wrong or scold me for any misbehavior but a mother would never envy her daughter in any harmful or derogatory way. I know some would say that is how mothers should be, but honestly she has never stopped supporting or advocating for all women in her life. A mother is an exemplary phenomenal woman indeed!

My sister, my better half. It was like we are were practically intertwined from birth. If I was ever to marry a man, it would be the male version of her. She is fierce, she is relentless and yet so humble to a fault. She goes an extra mile for her female friends and would not shy from her emotions. She can be brutally honest but her scorn comes from a softer, gentler spot in her pumping heart. I have never known a greater love. Frankly, I do not remember the last time I bought myself anything that was not gifted to me by her. She is an emblem of the true meaning of a heart of gold.

Allow me to talk about my colleague, my female colleague. Wow! What an extraordinary woman! Her character mirrors my own, we are as thick as thieves. We connected from the very first day we met and not because I was her boss but mainly because she was the only other woman in the department. We have formed a bond so strong she would sell her arm and leg for me and I would reciprocate the same for her without skipping a heartbeat. To the point our male work mates are suspicious and somewhat envious. Mind you, we are two very healthy heterosexual women and our relationship is purely on sisterly affection. Two women born of different mothers but meant to be.

My late high school desk mate who later turned to be the pillar of strength and a guiding light. She convinced me that healthy competition between us was acceptable, that we needed to encourage each other if we were to ever break out of the male chauvinistic bubble and be recognized as individuals that have succeeded solely and exclusively on merit and not gender-biased favors. I will forever cherish her fighting spirit and strive to pass the same ideals to the younger generation women.

Overall, my mentor and the small circle of girlfriends I have would never let my shoulders droop, never let me be sad or act crazy alone. There is always a moment to praise, a word of encouragement, a small dose of bitter truth but always abundance of love and care going around for everyone. They have shown me that as a woman, you never have to accept the crap the world feeds you lying down, you can stand up and fight back. Claim your place, it is your right!

Even in the professional capacity, women have adopted the policy of standing up for each other and not hang each other out to dry. Women in power do not feel threatened by their subordinates or women under them. In the words of Desmond Tutu: “It is by standing up for the rights of girls and women that we truly measure up as men.” They have integrated these famous words to action.

Women are resources of wisdom, knowledge, sympathy and kindness. We need to harness our own power to firmly ground our voices in the global arena. Social media apps like instagram, facebook and twitter have played a huge role in impacting the execution of this practice. The current female influencers and business women in social platforms have picked up this act and give shout outs to each other as a show of morale boost and not shy of showing support.

Men alone could not handle us, let’s agree, we are a handful! We require heart to heart sessions with other women to just feel like we can cope with the events of our everyday lives. A woman is a much better listener than a man and this is a fact. That is why we call our friends to vent, complain, deliver good news, want to commit murder (hey on a lighter note). Issues of mistrust and betrayal are not alien to our female populace, this occurs in different age groups, races, ethnic groups and sexes, however most habitual with women. In order for us to change this mindset and the view the world has of women, we first need to change ourselves. We have to correct the mistakes that add up to this misconception. We might not be able to change the perspective over night, but we can do it one woman at a time. We lift each other up, empower each other and even tone down the covetousness and envious aspects of our conscience a notch.

Helen Keller said: “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” How is it then, we would defy our basic instinct, the essence of who we are and make enemies of one another? Granted, a little jealousy, the nagging feeling of insecurity gnaws from time to time especially when a woman is not familiar to another and it is how we are built, but this should not be a cause for disunity. We are far better intellectual beings and with a superior EQ to put a show for the men with narcissistic, sadistic tendencies. So contrary to popular belief, women are not…I emphasize…are not women’s worst enemy unless proven by reliable statistics (yet to be conducted). We have learnt to co-exist and be cheerleaders for ourselves. Lend each other a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on and offer sound advice has become the norm.

Dear beautiful woman, Unity is truly strength and always remember lighting someone else’s candle does not extinguish your light.

Kudos to all the women that care, sympathize, admire and show up for other women even when they are not bonded by blood, closely related or share any form of familiarity. A tiny display of care goes a long way.

Fay

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