Fayinka Abisola
Nov 6 · 4 min read

DIARY OF AN ANGRY STUDENT.



Wait!!!!! (Insert hand emoji). I know you are wondering about the topic so wait let me explain. I want to talk to you about something that I dread so much. I am talking about the valley of the shadow of death that the entire student body of the University of Lagos have to pass through at one time or the other. Whether you are a guy or a girl, you would have at one time or the other gone through this annoying place before. I am referring to the Yaba market area. That place where our 'brodas' try to convince us to buy 'anything' they sell. They advertise curtains to you when you don’t even own a one-room apartment. Like, are you going to use the curtain as wrapper? They will try to force you to buy NYSC shorts when you are just in Year 1, for what???

As if trying to force you to buy what you don’t need is not enough, their methods of advertisement is nerve wracking. As in, it can give you headache!!!. These methods include dragging your hand, pulling your shirt, pushing you towards their shop and when you don’t want to buy, they insult you. Now if you are a guy, you might have it a bit easy. The process is simple.

It goes thus;

YABA BRODA: Bros I get fine shart (shirt), jeans trraza (trousers), chinos and anything wey you wan buy.

UNILAG BOY: I am not buying anything.

YABA BRODA: Bros abeg I just open bail today, I get fine jacket. Make i take you to my shop.

(The UNILAG boy walks away briskly)

But, it is a different ball game for the girls. Let me share this personal experience.

So as a girl that is used to passing through the Yaba axis as I happen to stay in Radiography Hall which is in Yaba, I already know the unspoken rules of passing through Yaba market (I will share the rules later). So I was already going on my own jeje, then the guy came and started ranting about how he has my size of shirt, trousers, jumpsuit and other things including underwear.

I quietly told him, 'please do not touch me’.

He said, 'I no dey touch you, my wife just born na why I come market today’.

And I was thinking, did I ask you?

He continued ranting about clothes and I zoned him out focusing on the fact that James Arthur is a really good singer.

Then out of the zeal and passion for what he was saying, he touched me. I became agitated and shouted 'are you crazy? I asked you to not touch me.'

The next thing I heard was 'wetin dey do you sef? You be virgin?’ And a whole round of explicit sexual nonsense that can’t be typed.

But even with the rage and how i was feeling as though I had been slapped, I could not say anything because I know the rules. Well, maybe my experience was even a little modest. Let me share my friend’s own.

A friend was on her way to enter campus shuttle to school, when one of our 'brodas' decided to grab her by the waist from the back just so that she can come and buy jeans on an early Monday morning when she was rushing to school.

These cases of molestation and verbal abuse are one out of one thousand cases of such that happens every day in that axis.

Let’s not forget that our other brodas have also joined in the madness by forcing you to buy gold when you are just wearing fake gold plated earrings worth #300 naira. They will force you to come and change dollar to naira when it is only #70 for transport that is with you and you are just hoping that your parents will send your pocket money today. And worst of all, they will be dragging your hand and calling you 'yanrinyan' meaning wife in Hausa.



Anyways, lest I forget, let me share the rules for passing through Yaba market and surviving all the rubbish that will be done to you.

1. Wear long sleeves. (You can just like to hold jacket in case you don’t wear long sleeves). This will protect them from touching your skin directly especially if you hate touch from strangers as much as I do.

2. Wear a deep frown on your face (’bone your face’). This will make them think twice before approaching you as you will not look friendly. Although, you may hear 'why you dey frank your face, you no even fine sef’. Just follow the next rule.

3. Stay plugged in with headphones so you can block out their noise.

4. NEVER REPLY THEIR COMMENTS. (I had to write this in bold letters so that you can know that it is very important. No matter whether they say you are ugly or not; whether they say you no get anything, don’t reply)

5. Walk briskly through the market and go to where you are going.

P.s these rules will definitely not stop them from touching you but it can make it easier to survive through it.

May the Odds be in your favour.

    Fayinka Abisola

    Written by

    Law Student, Avid Reader and a Writer.