Certain

Image by: FD Thornton ©2017

In each of us there’s an attraction to certain people, places, or things inside our minds. For me one of those things has been water. Rather it’s the beach, river, or lake water has been an important centering point in my life. As a young child maybe it was my granddad taking me fishing near Silk Hope. Or maybe it was spending my turbulent teens down at the river. Learning about life, love, and faith. Or it could be my life long love of the ocean. Over my entire life the sound of the waves and the smell of the air, have taken me to a primal place of peace and rest.

Whatever the reason water is a mainstay in my life. Oddly enough I can’t swim. Never learned, never tried. Besides being one of my certain attractions water is one of my primal fears. My parents say it comes from nearly drowning as a small child. Whatever the reason water is a strong attractor and an enormous source of fear. Yet there I am teetering ever closer to the edge trying to either get the shot or finding my path home near water.

Why I’m bothering to confuse this after 50-odd years is beyond me. I suppose it’s just some purging of an ancient fear. Or maybe it’s my heart’s way of casting out the demons that continue to haunt my soul. Like a moth dances around a flame, knowing good and well it may die in it’s heat. Still I continue to dance as if the world’s​ okay. None of us really know what secrets the heart keeps. We may think we do, but then why do we continue to tempt fear? Why do we continue to think the unthinkable or dance with the notion of unending love? I suppose somewhere deep there’s an ember that won’t go out. That drives us to that place. That place of certain attraction where the desire and fear both stay.