Is this fear holding you back from success?

“Why aren’t you doing more?”

This was the constant internal monologue I experienced in my teens and early twenties.

Can you identify?

I knew I should have been doing more, (contrary to what my parents thought), but there was something holding me back…something dark, evil, and debilitating.

It was a deep seated fear that was reinforced throughout my elementary, middle school, and high school years. Don’t fail.

Failure is embarrassing. Failure is weakness. Failure will make you feel worthless. Academics, sports, and friendships, all conspired together to create this abhorrence of failure.

In the 90’s movie, She’s All that (yes, I know I’m showing my age here), the popular guy played by Freddie Prinze Jr. has to come up with a performance art piece on the spot. What follows is a fantastic visual illustration of his fear of failure. He has to keep the hacky-sack in the air. Everyone is counting on him. He can’t let it drop, he can’t disappoint his family and friends. They are all counting on him. But in the end…the hacky-sack drops.

Boom. Failure.

So how do you overcome this fear?

Simple answer? Try stuff.

Start small. But try things that make you a little nervous. Try things that push you outside your comfort zone, even if it’s just a little bit. As you get more comfortable with the small things, push beyond to something a little harder, a little more scary.

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

- Thomas A. Edison

As you keep trying stuff, you’ll get more used to that uneasy feeling. The fear will fade. It will be replaced with anticipation. Will you succeed? If you fail, what lessons will you learn from the experience?

Once you’ve developed the mental framework for how to deal with failure, you will be able to pursue your goals with tenacity and perseverance.

Don’t be like me. Don’t wait until your late-twenties to start forcing yourself to do things that scare you. Acknowledge the fear, and work towards conquering it.