Wrexham 5 Salford City 1

What Happened?

I’ve lost count of the number of times Wrexham have froze in front of a bumper crowd. But this time Graham Barrow’s men played the game rather than the occasion to get off to a flier against the Ammies.

Pearson leapt like a salmon to head in the third minute opener before Akil Wright swiftly doubled our lead with another back stick header from another delicious Luke Summerfield delivery.

With Salford shaken Wrexham stirred.

They could afford to be a bit more flamboyant and the crowd lapped up every moment.

Carra’s cheeky shot from distance, Bobby’s blocked bicycle kick, Rutherford’s rude backheel.

Wrexham were showing off and toying with the Class Of 92’s play thing.

The turf opened up in front of Brad Walker for him to blast the third into the onion bag past a ruthlessly exposed Christopher Neal.

It was never supposed to be this easy against one of the division’s highest scoring teams. But it was. Gleefully simple.

City gave it a bit of a go during the early stages of the second half but messrs Pearson, Lawlor, Carrington and Jennings may as well have ascending tattoos on their foreheads which read ‘thou’, ‘shall’, ‘not’ and ‘pass’.

They did somehow breach Y Wâl Goch with the aid of an almighty deflection in the dying embers of added time but by then the humiliation, the capitulation, the admonishment was complete.

Tranmere Rovers loanee Ben Tollitt Zinedine Zidane’d his way inside the box before lashing an unstoppable shot past Neal.

Then another substitute, Chris Holroyd ensured Wrexham hit five goals in a league game for the first time since hammering another Mancunian side, Afc Hyde 2-5 almost five years to the day.

With leaders Leyton Orient losing at Dagenham earlier in the day Wrexham are now standing on their cockney coat-tails with a game in hand.

Moment You May Have Missed

Arthur Shelby from Birmingham’s finest eyeball slashers was in attendance to watch Graham’s Blinders turn Salford into Peaky Leakies.

Luckily, he was without his razor cap and we all kept our corneas to watch Wrexham romp to victory.

The Referee Is A W-A-N-K-E-R Scale of Shitfuckery

James Oldham — R. A really impressive display from the man in the middle. He wasn’t falling for the early Salford histrionics and let the game flow well between both sides intent on playing a high octane game. It isn’t too difficult being above average amongst the rest of the National League’s pool of officials but Oldham can be pleased with a good day at the office.

Powerhouse

Stuart Beavon was superb, Summerfield was a total boss, Pearson his irrepressible best.

But Akil Wright was imperious. He breaks up play, he sets up play, he tackles intelligently and pops up with the crucial second goal.

Shithouse

Gary Neville just shades it ahead of Tom Walker who got himself needlessly sent off late on for going through Tollitt for his second yellow.

The Rat-faced ball bag offspring of Neville Neville was full of it before the game as he and fellow pundit Robbie Savage indulged in a bit of Twitter long-cockery, querying the validity of our attendances and revelling in tweets from Reds fans.

But his chirping soon changed upon hearing the half-time score…before then admitting his side’s dismantling was enough to make him reach for a bottle of 1947 Chateau Haut Brion.

Atmosphere

Eight thousand Wrexham fans produced one of the greatest atmospheres I can ever recall at the Racecourse, certainly since the big old girl at the far end shut over a decade ago.

Those two early goals allowed even the most miserable Reds fan to sing without trepidation.

Who’s Next?

Solihull Moors make the short journey up the M6 and then past the Ricketts House of Snakes en route to Wrexham on Saturday.

They should not be underestimated after Tim Flowers’ blooming side thunderfucked Chesterfield 4-0 in darkest Derbyshire.