How To Deal With Rejection — 4 Lessons I Learned From Being Rejected
Something happened to me this past week that reminded me how to deal with rejection and the importance of knowing how to handle these situations properly. Out there in the real world, things don’t always work out as planned. There are people who don’t know you, people who don’t understand you all the time, and people whose emotions are unpredictable. Therefore, it is tough to predict how a person will respond to you in a given situation, and you have to be able to handle these responses as they come.
If you are working towards a particular goal, there is going to be some failure involved. You will have to know how to shut out the negative experiences that happen.
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MY STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED
Here’s what happened in my situation:
I had a business-related question that I needed to be answered. It was about a specific niche market that I want to potentially target with my future business. I was wondering about the different income streams that entrepreneurs in that market make money from. For me, it was important to know whether there actually is money to be made in this market.
I searched around on Google but couldn’t find much, so I decided to reach out to content creators in this niche market on Facebook. As the saying goes, if you can’t find a way, make a way. I knew I had to be resourceful. I didn’t know these content creators so I had to basically give a cold introduction to myself and then ask about the income streams that they used.
Understandably, most people I messaged did not reply. However, one did. Their response was along the lines of this: I cannot talk about my income streams because I don’t know you well. There are better questions you could be asking if you are starting a business.
MY REACTION TO REJECTION
Hearing this kind of response took me aback, and left me a bit surprised. I became very reactive and started developing feelings of anger and resentment. I had to lay back in my chair for a few seconds to calm down, that’s how much their response affected my emotions.
Internally, I felt rejected and did not know how to deal with rejection. Maybe I expected them to give me all the answers, and be very forward and polite about it. Maybe their response wasn’t the most polite. Nonetheless, I still got more emotionally affected by it then I wanted to.
Before messaging them, my mentality was that I was just trying to be resourceful. I had to go out of my own way to contact a stranger and get the information that I needed. It wasn’t the most comfortable situation for me, and in the end, I did end up getting rejected.
I felt angry because I wasn’t trying to be malicious or demanding, I was just trying to ask for help. Sometimes in the real world, you need to ask for things in order to get them, and that’s all I was trying to do. I wasn’t searching for their personal details.
Since I was so bothered by what had happened, I talked to my coworker about it, and how surprised I was about how emotional I got. He ended up giving me some important insights about how to deal with rejection. It was a reminder of some things I’ve learned along my personal development journey. I felt that these lessons could be very useful for you to hear as well since rejection is so common. Here they are:
LESSONS I LEARNED:
1) COMMUNICATION IS TWO-SIDED
Communication, especially over the internet or text message involves two sides; it is not a one-way street. It involves mutual understanding, which can be very difficult when you don’t have a facial expression or body language to read. The fact of the matter is, maybe the content creator didn’t understand my intentions. Maybe they didn’t understand that I wasn’t trying to seek out their personal information. Maybe they didn’t fully understand that I am someone new to starting a business and just looking for answers.
It is important to understand how communication works. You must know that the person you are talking to may not always understand your intentions, especially over text message. You can always learn from the experience, doing a better job at articulating yourself, expressing your intentions, and being transparent with it. When you don’t know someone, you want to come across as a trustworthy person who can explain themselves well.
2) LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND IMPROVE
In retrospect, I could’ve probably done a better job at introducing myself to the content creator, especially before asking a loaded question about someone’s income streams. Money can be a touchy subject, and I guess I didn’t intend on the question coming across that way.
However, to learn how to deal with rejection best, I can move on from this mistake and improve on it next time. Instead of just stating that I plan on running on online business, I can ask them how THEIR day is going. I can offer them value first. I can say that I saw their YouTube channel and that I thought it was super cool. Once I take the time to acknowledge their business, THEN I can ask a question to help me with my own. This would be a better procedure to follow for next time. After all, you live and you learn.
3) THE OTHER PERSON COULD BE HAVING A BAD DAY
You have to keep in mind that maybe the other person is having a bad day, maybe they are stressed or not in the best mood. That is totally okay and is the reality with whoever you talk to. Sometimes, you will exude positivity, maybe while saying hi to a person on the street, or maybe while approaching a homeless person to offer them cash. However, the response you receive might not be positive. They might not smile or react the way you’d like.
It is important to learn how to be attached to the value you are offering and your intentions instead of the reaction you are receiving back. Of course, MY intention was to try and get my question answered and I took the best stab at that intention. I could’ve done it in better ways, but I did take a shot, which ties into the final lesson…
4) TRUST YOUR INTENTIONS AND DON’T LOOK BACK
The truth is…I don’t even know the content creator…so WHO CARES? As I said before, I took a shot, it didn’t work out…SO WHAT? When learning how to deal with rejection, if you are seeking help from people you don’t know on the internet, be proud of yourself for taking action and don’t look back! For example, maybe you are on Tinder, and some girls are not responding. Maybe you go to ask a girl on Tinder on a date, and they don’t answer you, or even unmatch you (which happened to my friend the other day).
As former NHL hockey player Wayne Gretzky said,
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”
In order to solve a problem, like getting a question answered, you have to take a shot and see what happens.
HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION MOVING FORWARD
In summary, I hope these lessons have been beneficial for you to hear, and that you have learned how to deal with rejection. Rejection is unavoidable, and if you know how to react to it, you can handle it effectively. You should react with a positive mindset, and be concerned with your intentions instead of the other person’s reactions.
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