DEATH: Excuse me, I think you’re in my seat.
LOU: Oh, sorry, I thought this was fiftee-eeheeyyy!
DEATH: Yes, that’s fifteen “A”. It’s mine, see? You must have B, it’s ok.
LOU: (sliding to the next seat) Wow, you scared me man, with that hoodie.
DEATH: (squeezes and sits) Oh, I’m sorry. It happens a lot. Just now at the security line, you wouldn’t believe the faces of the guards. They thought there was a terrorist coming and they were doomed, haha.
LOU: You shouldn’t wear that, it’s creepy.
DEATH: Oh, it’s way creepier without it, believe me. They made me take it out to go through the machine and it wasn’t pretty I tell you.
LOU: What do you mean?
DEATH: I mean people don’t usually like the sight of an evil rotting skull. Kids specially.
LOU: (gulps) So… you’re really death?
DEATH: Oh, I thought I introduced myself. My manners, sorry. I’m Death, and you are?
(extends the boney hand)
Oops, sorry, you don’t wanna shake my hand.
LOU: (withdrawing his hand) I’m Lou.
DEATH: Nice to meet you, Lou.
LOU: Wait, you didn’t know who I am. So you’re not coming for me.
DEATH: Oh, no, no. This is not a work trip. Just pleasure.
(pads on a flowery bag)
Also, you don’t live here, right?
LOU: No, I was here for work.
DEATH: Yeah, that’s why I don’t know you. I manage this region only. I have a buddy over there, I can give him a call if you want to know when you guys are meeting.
LOU: No… it’s ok. I just thought the plane was going to crash or something.
DEATH: Oh, no, I hope not. I want to get some sleep. Ugh, but with this seats, I don’t know. I can’t fucking fit my legs here.
I should have upgraded to business, I have the miles.
LOU: You travel a lot? By plane? In coach?
DEATH: Yeah, kind of. When there’s a big event, I have to be there. Tsunamis, virus outbreaks, massive shootings, that sort of stuff. The little things I can do by email and facebook. But lately, man, there has been crazy shit all around. Lots of travel.
LOU: But now you’re on vacation, right? You didn’t bring the scythe with you, I see.
DEATH: No, they made me check it. Too big for carry-on I guess.
LOU: You’re still taking it with you?
DEATH: Yeah, you never know. I’m on vacation, but I got to take it just in case, you know how it is.
LOU: Aha. I take my computer everywhere.
DEATH: Well, it’s the same. Plus, I’m visiting some relatives and my aunt Hilda is quite old, so I might have to work a little.
LOU: I hope not. For you, and aunt Hilda.
DEATH: Yes, let’s hope so.
STEWARDESS: Excuse me, gentleman, would like something to drink before take off?
LOU: Whiskey for me.
DEATH: You wouldn’t have souls by any chance, right? I’m starving.
DEATH: Never mind, another whiskey.