Airplane

DEATH: Excuse me, I think you’re in my seat.

LOU: Oh, sorry, I thought this was fiftee-eeheeyyy!

DEATH: Yes, that’s fifteen “A”. It’s mine, see? You must have B, it’s ok.

LOU: (sliding to the next seat) Wow, you scared me man, with that hoodie.

DEATH: (squeezes and sits) Oh, I’m sorry. It happens a lot. Just now at the security line, you wouldn’t believe the faces of the guards. They thought there was a terrorist coming and they were doomed, haha.

LOU: You shouldn’t wear that, it’s creepy.

DEATH: Oh, it’s way creepier without it, believe me. They made me take it out to go through the machine and it wasn’t pretty I tell you.

LOU: What do you mean?

DEATH: I mean people don’t usually like the sight of an evil rotting skull. Kids specially.

LOU: (gulps) So… you’re really death?

DEATH: Oh, I thought I introduced myself. My manners, sorry. I’m Death, and you are?

(extends the boney hand)

Oops, sorry, you don’t wanna shake my hand.

LOU: (withdrawing his hand) I’m Lou.

DEATH: Nice to meet you, Lou.

LOU: Wait, you didn’t know who I am. So you’re not coming for me.

DEATH: Oh, no, no. This is not a work trip. Just pleasure.

(pads on a flowery bag)

Also, you don’t live here, right?

LOU: No, I was here for work.

DEATH: Yeah, that’s why I don’t know you. I manage this region only. I have a buddy over there, I can give him a call if you want to know when you guys are meeting.

LOU: No… it’s ok. I just thought the plane was going to crash or something.

DEATH: Oh, no, I hope not. I want to get some sleep. Ugh, but with this seats, I don’t know. I can’t fucking fit my legs here.
I should have upgraded to business, I have the miles.

LOU: You travel a lot? By plane? In coach?

DEATH: Yeah, kind of. When there’s a big event, I have to be there. Tsunamis, virus outbreaks, massive shootings, that sort of stuff. The little things I can do by email and facebook. But lately, man, there has been crazy shit all around. Lots of travel.

LOU: But now you’re on vacation, right? You didn’t bring the scythe with you, I see.

DEATH: No, they made me check it. Too big for carry-on I guess.

LOU: You’re still taking it with you?

DEATH: Yeah, you never know. I’m on vacation, but I got to take it just in case, you know how it is.

LOU: Aha. I take my computer everywhere.

DEATH: Well, it’s the same. Plus, I’m visiting some relatives and my aunt Hilda is quite old, so I might have to work a little.

LOU: I hope not. For you, and aunt Hilda.

DEATH: Yes, let’s hope so.

STEWARDESS: Excuse me, gentleman, would like something to drink before take off?

LOU: Whiskey for me.

DEATH: You wouldn’t have souls by any chance, right? I’m starving.

STEWARDESS: Souls?

DEATH: Never mind, another whiskey.

LOU: Cheers.

DEATH: Cheers.

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