5 Incredibly Easy Ways for Men to Better Understand Misogyny

Women have to deal with a lot of shit. A ton of shit. A big steaming mountain of shit. Most women, on some level, deal with shit daily. Sometimes that shit comes in the form of tweets and internet comments. But let’s not blame the tool; people have been shitting on women for a long time now. Apparently this is still hard for some men to understand.

Here are five incredibly simple ways any man can better understand the misogyny women face daily. Feasibly this list could be repurposed to suit any marginalization you don’t comprehend, so feel free to use it liberally!

1. Listen to women and believe them when they talk about their experiences. Believe it or not, all women have experienced being themselves. They know what being a woman is like. Some of them know what being a transwoman, WOC, queer woman, and/or fat woman is like. Women — like all humans — have thousands of traits and nuances that make them unique. They are all definitely qualified to talk about how it feels to live that experience. So listen.
2. Listen to women and believe them when they talk about their experiences. Surround yourself with more women. Follow more women on Twitter and follow the women they follow, check out books by women, watch movies by women, read articles by women. Read work by women you agree and disagree with. And when each and every one of those women inevitably say “being a woman sucks sometimes and here’s why,” then listen. And believe them.
3. Listen to women and believe them when they talk about their experiences. Women are adult humans. Just like men. Women are not children. Women aren’t throwing temper tantrums because someone doesn’t like them. Women don’t exaggerate their problems or their pain. Start actually fucking believing that. If your response is ever “is it really that bad though,” run to Michael’s, buy a needle and thread, and sew your mouth shut. Then listen.
4. Listen to women and believe them when they talk about their experiences. But, hear me out, actually listen. Stop thrusting your unsolicited opinions at them, stop trying to one-up their jokes, and don’t speak for them. Before every tweet or comment or email or message to any woman ask yourself “but what if I didn’t” and “is my opinion about this actually important?” Then listen.
5. Listen to women and believe them when they talk about their experiences. I don’t know, have you fucking tried listening to them yet?