How to Get People to Believe You’re the Most Interesting Person They’ve Ever Met
How interesting is this…
A lot of people believe that if they were charming, charismatic, and magnetic that they could get anything they want in life. I’ve actually heard people use those exact words when they talk about what having amazing social skills would mean to them.
And to be honest, I don’t believe they’re far from the truth.
Several months ago I was reading The Art of Seduction, a book I was inspired to read when I woke up one morning and the word “seduction” popped into my head. (This is a pattern in my life–the same thing happened to me when the word ‘advertising’ popped into my head and that changed my life. But that’s for another day.)
And The Art of Seduction is one of those books that you start to read, and then a few minutes later you look at your calendar and make every excuse possible to push off whatever plans you have for that day because you MUST read and finish the book as quickly as possible. It’s that eye opening, that disturbing, and that game changing.
To me, the actual ‘art’ of seduction is the ability to get people so interested, so fascinated, so in awe of you…because you have been able to get that person to believe that you ‘get’ them. You offer something that no one else in this world can–it’s undefinable. You help them see technicolor when before there was black and white. What an amazing gift to have, and to use.
And it’s what I call…
Or, bringing people into a new way of looking at things. One that makes them feel curious, passionate, and interested in life.
But you don’t find ‘the spark’ by rubbing two sticks together, and you also don’t find it by just ‘being yourself’.
But for today, I’ll share just one part of ‘The Spark’ that you can apply today. And it’s the very simple method of doing the opposite of what you’re ‘supposed’ to do.
And before you think I’m making an argument for anarchy, hang tight. Let me give you an example of what this looks like:
Because I’m an attractive woman, there’s a lot of ‘unsaid’ things that I should and shouldn’t be doing. Like:
- I should be doing work that’s not ‘too stressful’
- I should never publicly admit I believe I’m attractive
- I should be making gourmet dinners for every snack and meals with fresh ingredients from some farm in my backyard
- I should be interested in clothes and fashion
- I should speak romantically about things
- I should be polite and sensitive and considerate and emotional
- And I should be reading chick lit, taking dance classes, and complaining about men
So if someone were to ask me how I was different than any other woman out there…what would I actually say in order for them to BELIEVE that I’m the most interesting and fascinating woman they’ve ever met?
- I’d say that I love nothing more than the challenge of working my way into and to the top of male-dominated industries
- I’d say that while I love cooking, I actively didn’t do it for years because I was told–literally–that I’d never get a man if I didn’t cook something. Then I’d say, guess what? There are a lot of things guys care about a lot more than cooking. I know because they’ve told me. (And guess what? I still don’t cook because I just don’t care and I hate cleaning.)
- I’d say that instead of reading Cosmo I read books about war, strategy, and martial arts.
- I’d say that instead of being warm and fuzzy about everything, I know how to combine being practical and level-headed AND be sensitive and emotional at the right times
- I’d say that instead of being polite, I grab what I want by the balls
- And I’d also say that I think men are wonderful–and if you complain about men, it’s because you don’t understand them, period.
And you know what? I KNOW I’m not the only woman out there who feels like this. But I also know there are women out there who just don’t TALK about it. Same goes for men who are the ‘opposite’ of their ‘shoulds’.
But why not? Why don’t we talk about these fascinating aspects of ourselves that are so different than other people who color within the lines, and think that there’s nothing more to life than being born, doing some stuff, and then dying?
You Have The Power to Make People Feel More Alive Than They Have In Years
‘The Spark’ in you is that part of you that makes people think: WHAT. THE. FUCK. Who is this person, how can I get their number, and how can I see them again?
See, the problem I come across is when I meet new people or get on the phone with them all they want to do is talk about BUSINESS. (This is the life of an entrepreneur). But guess what? Outside of business, I don’t give a shit about business. I want to talk about a solar eclipse or what mathematical modeling has to do with the law of attraction or how getting good at pick up will make you really good at sales or how people overcome perfectionism or why one person is obsessed with making a certain kind of cake and another is a brilliant hair stylist. I want to talk about LIFE, not just one aspect of it.
You know, there was one time I was sitting next to my friend and we were talking about random fluff until I looked at him and asked: “What do you think about Stoicism?” With absolutely no pretext, or logical following up to that.
Hmm..I wonder what happens when you ask people interesting questions they don’t expect?
Eyes widen. Curiosity is piqued. Well, what the hell do I think about Stoicism, anyway? They’ll ask themselves.
And they connect YOU with that feeling. That aliveness that we all crave, that break from taking out the garbage, doing laundry, and thinking about what to eat for dinner. Your ‘spark’ can be electric and completely change how people perceive you and react to you.
How You Can Find Your ‘Spark’ Today
Whenever I think about this ‘spark’ effect, I think of Breaking Bad. And I think of BB because people who only see the show on the surface level hate Walt. They think he’s this terrible person, this morally corrupt human who deserves the worst.
But if you really dig into his character, if you really understand him, you realize that he represents a lot of us. He knew that he would just go on and be a chemistry teacher for the rest of his life, retire in 10 years, watch his kids grow up, and live in the same house in New Mexico until he died.
But he didn’t TRULY want that.
Say what you want about his moral compass, but more than anything, he wanted to feel ALIVE. And you see how his confidence grows, his view on life, his strategic thinking all changes as he goes deeper and deeper into the world of making meth.
So how can you do that? How can you make people feel alive?
If I were you, I would ask yourself: What is surprising about me? What do I do/like/eat/say that society would think is ‘weird’ or ‘taboo’ or ‘masculine/feminine’ of me to do?
Just find one thing. And the next time you’re in conversation, see how you can talk about it. Not in a bragging way, but in a: “Hey, what do you think about ‘X’?” way. And incidentally, this is another way you can keep conversations going instead of waiting for someone else to take the lead. And even more subtly, this shows people you have something of value to offer. And that is what is so rare, and what people are dying for.
So now that you know what ‘The Spark’ is…what’s yours? Tell me in the comments below.