A sexy, kinky 5 year plan
Everyone has sex workers in their family. Your cousin could be a phone sex operator. Your child could be the first millennial or Gen Z person in your family to produce porn. I’m likely the first erotic laborer in my family to come out of the closet. I’ll likely be the first Gen Z person in my family to receive a teaching credential and master’s degree.
In the next 5 years, I’ll earn my bachelor’s in political science. I’ll probably take a year long break between my credential and the first year of graduate school. Perhaps I’ll spend that year stripping in the US Virgin Islands. Perhaps I’ll spend that year writing memoirs about my queer, Asian-Californian, kinky, sex working life.
If I were to teach at a college level, I’d need a PhD. Since I would be teaching adults, I’d be less scared of getting fired for doing/having a past with erotic labor. In my ideal future, it will commonplace for universities to have courses on Asian sex worker history, global sex worker history, and SF Bay Area-specific sex work history.
I aspire to publish my debut book by the end of 2023. It will be the first of many books on professional cuddling. If you support my substack, patreon, or medium accounts you know I write essays frequently. I will publish anthologies of my own writing, I fantasize about editing anthologies composed of writing from other erotic laborers.
I spent 2022 getting a bivalent booster for covid and the monkeypox vaccine. I’ll spend the next 5 years getting every vaccine I can. My immune system will thank me later. I’ve caught covid twice, but at least I’ve never caught monkeypox. If you want to see the world, getting vaccinated either before or at your destination is mandatory.
Women, in general, are told to never travel without a man. When I go on vacations with male friends my mom accuses me of cheating on my boyfriend [1]. I’ll be spending the next 5 years going on as many solo vacations, vacations with friends, and vacations with my boyfriend as possible. Sex bucketlists are silly but I have no shame in how I memorialize spectacular views. Besides, no one has caught my boyfriend and I in the act.
I probably won’t become a dance instructor within the next 5 years. In 2021, I became a stripper and attempted to become a pole dance instructor. Pole studios have told me everything from ‘you need a degree in dance’ to ‘you don’t have dance teaching experience’ to ‘you need a pole teacher certification’. Something I rarely see being taught in dance studios in general is the art of freestyling. Strippers freestyle dance every time they perform in clubs. As a pole teacher, I would help students with freestyle dancing.
I fear being dismissed by the BDSM community the same way the pole fitness community dismissed me. I love attending kink conventions and volunteering at BDSM parties. I haven’t yet applied to become an educator at any BDSM dungeons or conventions. There is no guarantee I’ll be teaching workshops at conventions and facilitating panels, but I promise I’ll apply to teach within the next 5 years. I will visit dungeons and kink parties outside of California and Louisiana. Hopefully, I’ll attend BDSM events outside of the United States. I have no desire to open up my own dungeon, but I want to interview my favourite kink educators for my podcast.
On the bright side, I’m speaking at a panel about sex workers at the 2023 Pole Con. I’m also gonna perform a freestyle routine at the convention. If you’re a stripper looking for a hotel roommate, please email me! If you’re attending PoleCon this June and want to be interviewed for my podcast, email me.
I want to spend the next 5 years patronizing strip clubs in other countries (like in Tokyo, Japan!). I prefer travel dancing in US territories. I want to strip in Guam in the summer of 2024. I have several Bay Area friends who travel dance in Los Angeles and New Orleans, I’d love to support them while they’re away from their home club.
In the next 5 years, I’ll progress as an erotic photographer. Not enough shibari photographers are also dominatrixes. Not enough pole photographers have a background in stripping. I have never been suspended in rope or learned how to suspend others. By 2028, I’ll be a seasoned rope bunny and distinguished traveling photographer. I’ll travel to varying cities to share my creative abilities with like-minded kinksters and sex workers.
As for my reproductive health, I’ll go off birth control in 2027. I’ll be 28 when I say goodbye to my nexplanon implant. Reproductive healthcare is free in California. My boyfriend can get a vasectomy to prevent unwanted pregnancies. His body is his. I’m okay with using condoms for penetrative sex. Silicone lube is compatible with polyisoprene condoms.
I currently meet my somatica therapist twice a month. Ideally, I’d speak to my therapist once per week. The somatica method is a form of therapy that emphasizes sexuality. I believe sexual challenges are seldom isolated. I believe sexual challenges coincide with mental struggles. Mental illness and sexual wellness both are stigmatized. It’s unrealistic to expect my mental health to be “better” in 5 years. Through the somatica method, I’m equipped with tools for navigating life’s turmoils.
My life may not be easier by 2028, but I’ll be smarter and stronger. That’s all I truly need.
[1] When my sister married her husband, my mom accused her of being a “homewrecker”.