No, not every woman should try burlesque

If you think my burlesque acts are mediocre, congratulations! Don’t forget to sip your drink before you fume about me. If you think dancing is boring in general, you’re entitled to your opinion. Burlesque is provocative and comedic. You can dislike performance art but sensuality and laughter have existed in every civilization…burlesque is here to stay. If you found this article whilst curating your sex negative echo chamber, I hope you deliberate on why you oppose sensual expression before keyboard smashing!

I express myself online for validation, but being active on the internet is also how I make a majority of my income and find in-person friends. The industry may be rough but I’m positive that the friends I have made will be my friends for life. The industry is especially rough if you’re poor, a person of color, and/or disabled.

If you’re going to try burlesque, prepare for the unglamorous parts of the star-studded, glitzy world. It’s nice to be the center of attention (when you’re used to being overshadowed) but burlesque performers don’t spend a majority of their time onstage…most labor never gets seen by cabaret audiences. In the words of Maple Rose from Maison Burlesque, “It’s admin, it’s sales, it’s act development, it’s marketing, it’s production management — it’s a beautiful mix of all of these fun yet critical fields to create this glittery, challenging, and creative industry.” Maison Burlesque is an Australian dance academy that teaches in-person and online lessons; Maple Rose is a showgirl and dance instructor from Melbourne [1].

Performers commonly sew their own costumes and accessories. As boylesque dancer, Matt The Knife puts it, “You have to create from the inside out.” One of his signature acts involves him dressed up as Princess Peach, but most retailers don’t sell Peach’s outfit in adult male sizes. He puts his degree in costume design to good use by constructing his boylesque wardrobe [2]. My “costumes” are literally lingerie that I wear every day. Event organizers don’t pay me enough to spend days or weeks gluing and hand stitching accessories. People who are able to put together budget-friendly pieces, in a short period of time, are able to because they have spent either years or decades honing their sewing skills. My choices are (a) sacrifice money for time or (b) sacrifice time for money or (c) wear lingerie that is already in my closet. The answer is the same as to why I’m not a crafty cosplayer. I can’t afford to master sewing because I need to spend my waking hours doing chores, visiting my family, running errands, exercising, managing my podcast, and snuggling clients–my main source of income [3].

I once auditioned at a bar famous for burlesque shows. I had to pay to be considered and received a last minute email about the audition process. I understand that nightlife venues sometimes receive more applications for burlesque dancers than they can accept. The solution is to interview applicants one by one. I don’t recommend capping off applications without a waitlist, and forcing all applicants to pay a nonrefundable fee to “prove” they want a spot badly enough. I was forced to arrive at the venue four hours prior to my audition and was not allowed to sit down the entire time. All the auditionees and I were relegated to a tiny, cramped bathroom.

One in four American adults is disabled [4]. The statistic is most likely higher for adult entertainers. No disabled person should have to out themselves for nightlife venues to be accommodating. There are countless people in the burlesque scene who are open about their disabilities.

In the early 2000s, a young Anna Smith Higs suffered a stroke one month after giving birth. Now she’s an international burlesque star and founder of Chari-Tease, a charity that raises money for a stroke rehabilitation group [5]. In 2017, Jacqueline Boxx became the first contestant at the Burlesque Hall of Fame festival to compete in a wheelchair [6]. DisabiliTease was formed in 2021, by mostly performers in North America, in response to the covid-19 pandemic. DisabiliTease Academy is a virtual dance academy specializing in burlesque and drag for disabled folks [7]. They’re similar to Tease-Able which is Australia’s first burlesque dance academy for disabled folks. Tease-Able also debuted in 2021 [8].

I refuse to abandon my art because of ableist individuals. I’m sad that the Burlesque Hall of Fame is the longest running burlesque festival in the world, yet not one dancer in a wheelchair has been inducted. I will not attend the Vegas festival until they become more inclusive of disabled dancers. They have been around since the early 1950s so they have no excuse [9]. Frankly, they should be subsidizing flights and accessible hotel stays for disabled performers.

Art has been used throughout millennia as a form of protest. Burlesque in the United States began in circus sideshows; and once burlesque became common at vaudeville shows, new nudity laws were introduced. Those laws catalyzed the usage of tassel pasties by cabaret stars [10]. Vaudeville is a form of theatrical entertainment that began in France and rose to popularity in North America during the 1880s. According to historian, Dr. David Monod, vaudeville is America’s first form of “middle brow entertainment” [11]. Performance art is supposed to be for everyone.

If I wanted to see a lineup of only Asian performers, I’d have to wait until next April to attend the Asian Burlesque Festival in New York City. I’m fortunate enough to live close to San Francisco Chinatown which has a museum dedicated to Asian showgirls of the 20th century. Unfortunately, that museum is only open from 2–6pm on Saturdays [12].

Artists must have a weekday hustle, and sometimes a weekend morning hustle, in addition to burlesque bookings just to make ends meet. I can’t support the showgirl museum for the next few weeks despite having the “freedom” of being self-employed. Being self-employed is as freeing as it is agitating.

I’ve heard agitating and oddly territorial remarks from cabaret goers like “My first exposure to burlesque was in New Orleans so I have fine taste, therefore, I refuse to patronize cabarets outside of NOLA”. It’s weird to cheer for some places and not others. Burlesque dancers aren’t your local sports team. Nobody’s obligated to like anything but I’d rather uplift every dancer than be a territorial mutt. I refuse to be harsh on anyone outside of my hometown purely because they’re not from the San Francisco Bay Area. In the words of the pioneer of the neo-burlesque movement [13], Dita Von Teese, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” I appreciate support but I don’t want to be supported purely because I live in a major city. I’ve met live entertainers from rural areas, such as Brentwood and Livermore, who are as deserving–if not, more deserving–of support.

Talent may be everywhere, but opportunities aren’t. Us dancers are planning our long commutes to and from home. We’re investing countless hours into administrative work in hopes we’ll see a return on investment. We’re networking with others in the entertainment industry, expecting the worst and praying for the best. We’re sharing resources with our colleagues so that as many people can accept opportunities as possible. Please don’t become a burlesque star for fun when there are those who do it out of necessity.

Plenty of us can’t get a white collar job because we’re disabled and/or lack a degree. A plethora of us can’t retreat to a suburban home with amenities when we’ve had a bad day at work. Some of us have dependents and receive little to no monetary assistance from the government and family. Some of us literally get sexually assaulted by audience members mid-performance [14]. The most marginalized dancers often lack the capacity or desire to explain their struggles to everybody. I don’t get paid per medium article but I’m privileged enough to have patrons who fund my writing endeavors.

If you’re fascinated by burlesque and are financially independent, I recommend attending or volunteering at a conference. The United States is abundant with burlesque conferences. If you have financially unstable friends, you can pass along what you’ve learned to them. Some conferences have scholarships for would-be attendees that are non-American citizens [15]. If you know non-citizens who want to do burlesque to sustain themselves, tell them about those scholarships. I wish more conferences had panels where marginalized burlesque performers could voice their opinions. Burlesque conferences mainly have beginner-friendly dance workshops. This is great because those who didn’t grow up taking dance lessons deserve opportunities to dance as adults.

Now that you’re more informed, if you still want to try out burlesque I support your decision.

If you’ve been hate-reading this far because you believe no woman should be outwardly sexual, thank you for your time…even people who agree with you aren’t reading your entire rant on substack.

If you’re a burlesque dancer who needs senior care, there BurlyCares — a 501(c)3 that exists to serve the elder burlesque community [16].

If you wanna dip your toes in burlesque but don’t want to do the most popular style in your region, I wholly support you.

If you’re inspired to get your unpopular burlesque opinions off your chest, I look forward to reading your future writing.

If you’re an Asian person who is attending the 2024 Asian Burlesque Festival, I’d love to meet you there!

If you’re a new reader to me, thank you for giving me your time of day. I sincerely hope you read my other writing on medium and substack.

If you’re a longtime reader, please consider supporting me on patreon.

If you’re one of my patrons, thank you for your patronage.

SOURCES

[1] Click here to read more about Maison Burlesque. Click here to read more about the award winning dancer, Maple Rose.

[2] Click here to read what Matt The Knife and Gal Friday have to say about their taste in burlesque fashion.

[3] Click here to listen to me discuss cuddle therapy.

[4] Click here to read about Pansy St. Battie — a disabled, nonbinary burlesque performer in San Francisco.

[5] Click here to read more on Anna Smith Higgs and here to read more on Chari-Tease.

[6] Click here to read more about Jacqueline Boxx and watched her groundbreaking performance!

[7] Click here to read about Disabili-Tease and listen to Little Peaches’ spoken word poetry on body neutrality

[8] Click here read about Tease-Able and the founder, Empress Eyrie

[9] Click here to read the About page on the Burlesque Hall of Fame website

[10] Click here to read about the emergence of nipple pasties

[11] Click here to read up on American vaudeville

[12] Click here to read about the Showgirl Museum in San Francisco Chinatown

[13] Click here for Dita Von Teese’s book catalogue

[14] Click here to read about Ruka Johnson’s experience with being sexually assaulted. The article is paywalled so turn off javascript on your browser to access the full thing.

[15] BurlyCon has scholarships for people who are disabled, people of color, LGBT+, and non-US citizens!

[16] Click here to learn more about the Nevada nonprofit, BurlyCares

Audio version of this article coming soon!